Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Couples need to be perfect for each other for long-lasting marriage

To be a perfect wife

The perfect wife knows how to provide the harmonic balance within the family unit. She knows how to balance career, domestic chores, taking care of the children and support her husband emotionally. The perfect wife has many roles to fulfill and finds it both a challenge and rewarding. Not every woman wants to be the perfect wife. Many women will purposely try to be something different to establish their independence. Even those women that rebuff the idea of a perfect wife, read on. There are many deep emotional rewards for striving to be the perfect wife.The perfect wife knows how to smile at those jokes that aren't really that funny. She manages a small laugh and doesn't remind her husband that he has told that joke before repeatedly. Without her husband knowing it, the perfect wife embraces these age old jokes over and over as if they were brand new. The perfect wife will know that one day her husband might be in a nursing home not able to even recognize who she is. It will be that day that these old jokes will be a memory that keeps her going daily to visit her wonderful husband. The perfect wife finds the energy to pick up the piles of clothes, socks strewn about and the glasses that never make it back to the sink. Instead of clearing up after everyone and feeling like a maid, the perfect wife is proud of her home. It will drive her nuts to have the little messes here and there. She cleans up without a second thought as to who did it last time or why everyone around her can't seem to walk to the kitchen sink. She knows that one day the house will be childless and there won't be laughter as everyone is gathered around the TV watching a movie and forgetting their dishes. The perfect wife covets the memories that are being made in the household from an active family life.

The perfect wife wakes in the middle of the night to toss the covers back onto her husband because she wants him to stay warm. She doesn't sit up and wonder why she had to marry someone that thrashes about and snores so loudly. The perfect wife cherishes the quiet moments when she can watch her husband sleeping peacefully. Deep down she knows that one day her bed will be empty because she has become a widower. The perfect wife learns how to cook the dishes that are her husband's favorite to eat. Eventually, she even learns to like some of these dishes herself. When he calls her telling her that he will be late getting home for dinner, the perfect wife smiles and puts the meal on warm. She knows that it is a blessing that she has a man that is willing to work very hard to financially provide for the family. At least her husband is out working late and not at the local bar picking up women or ending up in jail. There will be a day that the only food her husband might be able to eat is puree meals from a straw.The perfect wife does not look at just today. The perfect wife does not keep score as to who has contributed the most or contributed what to a relationship. She values her marriage and embraces her friendship with her husband. When faced with multi-tasking and keeping the family balance, the perfect wife focuses on enjoying each moment for she is wise and knows that the precious moments of today are not forever. It is from the perfect wife that many of us could learn to cherish today and let yesterday's problems stay in the past.

To be a perfect husband

If you could tell someone how to be the almost perfect husband, what would you tell him?

That’s the question I posed to more than one thousand wives, ex-wives and widows, nearly all of whom freely offered advice. In the end, I had enough material for a book: How To Be The Almost Perfect Husband: By Wives Who Know.

After gathering all my data – a collection of one and two sentence bits of advice from wives to husbands - I set about the task of picking and choosing. What should I put in the book, and what should I leave out? In other words, it was my job to sift through all the advice I’d assembled and choose what was truly important to women. I made my decisions, shared the "final cut" with my wife and immediately got fired.

"That’s all you learned!?," she asked. Realizing she’d inadvertently stepped on my toes, she immediately followed up with the far more diplomatic, "Mind if I take a look for myself?" The moral of the story? Even with 1,000 wives explicitly telling me what they needed from their husbands, I still didn’t get it. I was just too much of a "man" to truly understand. That’s when my own wife lovingly stepped in and helped me to see what these wives truly crave. That said, here are "Three Top Tips for Pleasing Your Wife."

1. Listen
More than anything, women want their husbands to listen. Not try to solve their problems or offer advice, but simply to listen. As Becky, 33, advises: "When I'm having a bad day and complaining a lot, please just listen. Forget the advice on how to make things better. Just tell me you love me and give me a hug." Brenda, 36, adds: "Always listen to what your wife has to say no matter how uninteresting or boring it is to you. It's important to her or she wouldn't be sharing it with you."

2. Show her you love her
It’s the little things you do for her that let your wife know she’s truly loved. "Surprise her with something small," says Rowena, married 23 years, "like bring home take-out without being asked." As Jennifer, 22 - married just nine months! - explains: "Instead of telling me, show me you love me. A kiss when I least expect it. Flowers for no reason. Hold my hand when we’re in public, and in private. Little surprises like these can sometimes mean much more than words."

What if you’re a man who’s married to a modern, "self-sufficient" woman, someone who’s fully capable of taking care of herself? Erika, 45, is just such a woman. Yet her request is much the same: "Even though I’m strong and modern and self-sufficient, do surprising, sweet, I’m-here-to-pamper-and-care-for-you things." As for specifics, consider these:

"Write me little notes and give me funny cards a little more often, like you did when we were courting." – Jennifer, 32, married 6 years

"Once in a while, send me a little surprise at work – so the people around me are jealous that I have the perfect mate." – Marilee, 46, married 22 years

"Light a candle every once in a while – even when the power doesn’t go out." – Linda, 48, married 28 years

Finally, Cynthia, married 14 years, shares this loving behavior: "Do what my husband does: When I wake up at 3 A.M. filled with worry, he rubs my back, holds my hand and says things will look better in the light of day. Then he doesn’t fall asleep until I do."

3. Tell her you love her
While actions may speak louder than words, words hold their own special power – both positive and negative. Jeannie, 55, separated for seven years, writes: "Think before you speak. Words can damage and cut to the bone." Be careful not only to guard your tongue, but use your words to cherish and embrace. Maureen, 62, writes: "Learn to say: ‘I love you.’ Acting as if you do is great, but it’s nice to hear it once in a while." Sally, 47, advises: "Tell her you love her three times a day. ‘I love you’ is like mayonnaise. It has a very short shelf life."

And while you’re at it, follow the advice of Deborah, 42: "Tell her she looks pretty. At least once a day!"

Questions for reflections:

When your wife is telling you about a problem she’s having, are you truly listening or trying to come up with a solution to offer?
What did you do today that showed your life you truly love her?
What about yesterday and the day before?
When was the last time you said to your wife, "I love you"?
In an average week, how many times do you say those words?
How often do you tell your wife how attractive she is?

Tips on how she'll fall inlove with you head over heels;

1.Always appreciate her & tell how special she is for you.
Proven effective phrases;guaranteed!

You are a beautiful woman ,I love your mind ,I love your soul...You are an ANGEL!

I want to be honest with you!I won't talk or go out with other women bec. of you.
I am a man & sometimes i missed to have sex but i'll resist for you!

There are a lot of beatiful women anywhere but for me

2.Compose a poem just for her or if you are not expert on making one,atleast give it a try express yourself,how you really feel.Your girl will really appreciate it.It is not about how beautiful the poem is what matter most is the effort you had exerted to let her know how much you love her.

3.Let her realized how special she is & having her is all you would ever wanted in life.

Top Reasons to be Romantic

You’ll be happier.
Your partner will be happier.
You’ll have sex more often.
You’ll enjoy sex more.
You’ll rise about mediocrity, and create an A+ Relationship.
You’ll experience the spark of infatuation again.
You’ll reduce the chance that your partner might cheat on you.
You’ll increase the probability that you’ll stay married.
You’ll add depth and meaning to your relationship.
You will create a safe haven where you can really be yourself.
You will be truly heard and deeply understood by one other human being.
You’ll save money by expressing your love in lots of little, creative ways.
Exercising your creativity will benefit you in other areas of your life.
You’ll probably live longer.
You’ll be better parents.
You’ll be great role models for your children.
You’ll be great role models for friends and neighbors.
Your children will understand love better than most kids.
Your children will experience what love is really all about.
Your children will have a better chance of choosing partners wisely.
Your children will be better able to create healthy love relationships.
You’ll make the world a better place.

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