Sunday, December 30, 2007

Learning being alone without being lonely

If you're reading this you're probably really bored and, at the moment, have no one to be with. Whether you long for a girlfriend, or miss your family and friends, this guide can help you cope with living alone. Keep in mind that humans are indeed social animals, but that doesn't mean that we can't be perfectly happy outside of society too.


Be happy. Live a life of optimism. Happiness comes from within regardless of your situation, so don’t use any excuses, such as being alone.

Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back.

Learn something new.

Learning is the most important aspect of living alone. It helps to keep the boogieman away, and also gives you something to talk about when you do have to actually enter society.

Learning is also incredibly more efficient when you don't have social responsibilities like family to take care of, or a girlfriend to entertain.

Learning isn't just exclusive to books (although they are a great source of knowledge). You can learn to do anything by just practicing. Enrolling in classes is fun and also helps with the social life - you will meet new people in your classes. If you're not so much into the meeting people, the Internet is a great way to learn pretty much everything (That's what this site's for!).

Consider learning: Indoor Activities: A Foreign Language, Painting, Yoga, Art Appreciation, A Musical Instrument such as piano or flute. Outdoor Activities: Gardening,Fencing, Tennis, Golf. Or Combination - things you can do indoors and out: Photography, Drawing.

Get a pet.

Humans need affection, without it they become bitter and hate the world around them. Pets are always a source of affection and will give loads of it endlessly.

Pets also provide someone to talk to. No, it's not weird that you talk to your pet, it's weird if you don't. Just be cautious that your pet doesn't talk back. If so, seek professional help.
If you are aloof and self-sufficient, tropical fish, hamsters, budgies or finches are great choices. If you like a little interaction, but not a lot of maintenance, try a cat. If you want to be very hands-on, spend lots of time and get lots of feedback, a dog is for you.


Now may be the time to catch up on some of your reading. Not only is it fun and enjoyable, but it's also self-education and a way to round yourself as a person.
Consider spending some time with classics such as "Moby Dick," "A Christmas Carol," "Romeo and Juliet," "The Martian Chronicles," or "Tales of Mystery and Imagination."
Or choose a genre to explore: Sci-Fi greats include "Stranger In a Strange Land," "Fahrenheit 451," and the "Dune" series. Horror: "Salem's Lot," "The Stand," and "Dracula." Fantasy: "Lord of the Rings," "Chronicles of Narnia," and "Harry Potter." Or just regular fiction: "East of Eden," "To Kill a Mockingbird," or "A Farewell to Arms."

Poetry is cool, too, and nothing makes you look cooler than when someone says, "Oh my God, you actually know that by heart?" Great poetry: "Charge of the Light Brigade," "Ulysses," "She Walks In Beauty," "How Do I Love Thee," and Shakespeare's Sonnets - #29 is great!

Join an on-line community.

One of the most popular online societies is that of World of Warcraft, but there are several on-line multi-player games that will welcome you with an abundance of online buddies.
Don't limit your online activities to just games. Join forums or chat rooms to meet new people also. Take whatever you're interested in and find other people like you.

Think. Be introspective. Contemplate or ponder things.

Above all, contemplation is one of the most important self-building things you can do. Think about what makes you you. What do you believe in? Why? Are there any things that don't seem right to you? What do you believe at face value (or accept as a matter of faith)?
Philosophy is a great way to improve your thinking and reasoning skills. It will give you interesting topics that will stretch and bend your brain to help you understand your view of reality. Keep in mind that just because someone believes in something it doesn't mean you have to if you don't like it.
Philosophers: Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche


Now is the time to get that body you've always wanted. Instead of just pigging out on junk food and sitting in front of the TV all night, do some push-ups or sit-ups.

Rediscover the fun to be had in simple exercises. Riding a bike around your neighborhood becomes less work and more fun as you do it.

Be consistent.

Exercise takes willpower and diligence. Make a schedule and stick to it. Keep it easy at first and you will discover your limits. Or, join a gym and create new friends there.
Go outside. It's a big world out there, and you're only seeing a small fraction of it. Forget the people, just enjoy what life has to offer. Once you do that, then people will want to know and be with you. Frankly, you won't have a choice but to have friends!


Be careful of who you trust. Don't be too eager to meet someone you just met on-line. Try to always meet in a public place and it's best to bring along someone you trust.

Keep your mind as active as possible. It will help you cope with the fact that you are alone and will also help you improve yourself.

If you're going to go out, make sure your neighborhood is safe. If not go to a safer neighborhood.
Have fun, don't let the little things get to you.
Let go. Don't think about being alone, just accept it.


If you're bored, you may be boring. You may have nothing to talk about at parties or gatherings, or may feel ill at ease contributing to other social situations, and therefore find yourself alone a lot.

By making yourself more interesting, you'll also find more things to interest you. Be careful about making a change that doesn't fit your personality. Being honest with yourself and true to your own individuality is more important.

Online communities, and especially online games such as World of Warcraft can become very addictive to some people. Learn to balance your new interest with other things that are both important and enjoyable in your life. If you find that participating in such a community or game is becoming addictive, stop immediately and reevaluate your situation.

Things You'll Need

A willing attitude
An open mind
An explorer's heart

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