Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The right ways how to handle a relationship in a very healthy manner

How to attract love & the right ways to keep your relationship works.

Do's & Don'ts:

-We should first focus on ourselves in what we really wanted in a relationship & what kind of partner are we looking for.

In my personal point of view all wanted to have a perfect lover means being perfect in everyway.The idealism of having a dream guy/girl is everyones dream.A gorgeous,smart,popular,having a perfect body & being rich this is the typical description of a perfect lover.

When i was still young i always focus to have a boyfriend who is good looking but as time goes by & my own experienced taught me that this is not all about the good looks.Because if you are already in the relationship the looks fades away not because of being old the thing is you two are used to seeing the same face everyday & being with the same person for a long time gets you bored.(this is one of the reasons why many man/woman don't commit themselves or if they had they used to cheat their partner by having another affair.)Because the physical attraction dies.This is a very poor foundation of a relationship.

I'm not saying that physical attraction is not important.For some people this is so important bec. we think that we always deserved better.I agree,beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.But don't just focus on physical attributes you should be also drawn to that person emotionally,i mean from the heart not the lust inside us.

It is a very important factor that you can communicate in the same level,i'm not telling that you should be on the same field or ground of occupation but you can communicate with the same interest.Intellectual attraction contributes a big part to keep your relationship burning & being smart is being sexy in the eyes of the opposite sex.This does not mean you need to be a nerd or geek.Just learn to communicate in very intellectual manner & it is how you bring your communication alive.

-learn to read between the lines.

-having a good sense of humor attracts,if you have this unique trait you are sexy in the eyes of the opposite sex.Don't try to imitate how others deliver because this will just makes you looked trying hard & it will just goes to be a turn-off instead attracting you will just looked ridiculous.
-just be your ownself & you will discover that you have your own style that attracts,pretending & acting to be someone is a turn-off bec. however hard you try to hide the real you it would come out to the open & the person who got attracted with you at first using a fake identity is not really attracted at you but with the person you had projected to be.So be just yourself & never exaggerate.

-be simple & be a little conservative,being conservative is a more powerful way to attract & be considered sexy by the opposite sex bec. your personality is well expressed in how you dressed.Being conservative in a way brings mystery & curiousness to the opposite sex that makes them more interested in getting to know you.
-Being a player & a flirt is a big NO,NO!It will not be a plus in your appeal on the oppposite sex but it will just prevent you to find the partner you are looking for.For me being a player & a flirt is disgusting it is a sign of cowardice bec. even they don't admit it they are escaping something/trying to hide their own feelings.They feel they had to prove something to others but the real thing is they are not proving a thing but just making their lives more miserable.The denial is within & the fear on commiting is what they are preventing to face.Being a player & a flirt will just attract the same kind.
-If you are really looking for a serious relationship & ready to commit look for someone with the same outlook & goals.If you had encounter a player let him/her feel what he/she is looking for,love begets love .What you give is what you get.
And for some instances that this still did'nt worked to established a healthy relationship,let go & move on.Be proud of yourself ,you are not the loser after all.If you loved purely & unconditionally & had not been returned by your partner,don't loose hope someone will.Just wait,you deserve to be with someone better.
-Don't go to a relationship just bec. you wanted to have one,for fun or not to be left out by your peers that are all in a relationship.Or just because of your sexual needs bec. if you want to be respected you first need to respect yourself.Just exercise sex with the one you love & one you are committed with.It is not healthy to have multiple sexual partners bec. you are just degrading you value as a person & who will respect someone who is pervert.If you value your relationship by being faithful not only you will gain the respect of your partner but also you will be treasured & will be taken seriously because not all value themselves.
-Learn to love yourself & you will realized that you can live without sex bec. that is the FACT ,no one dies for not having sex,it is all in the mind.We should learn to control our sexual desire & just have sex with the one you are committed to.SEX should be accompanied by love,sex without love is just LUST.
-Be honest in presenting yourself just state the facts like your real name,age & status,don't used other identity or hiding some details like having kids or still in a marriage.Being honest will help you to established the trust from others.If you lay dowm all your cards & someone would like you as you & all the things from your past.If you will make-up stories so you could attract someone you like,maybe at first all will be ok but when the lies been revealed when things are all doing fine,this will lead to a disaster all the efforts that you had done & the emotion you had invested may be all taken for granted bec. the lie will cover all the good things you have done & what you planted has ripen & sown the result is doubt.
-Learn to forgive from your heart not just by word but by heart if you really want to save your relationship,sometimes mistakes are not all avoidable.Sometimes it is not really important who had committed mistake,if the ground is acceptable try to talk things out as soon as possible.Ones pride should be set aside to fix your misunderstanding,it is not showing weakness to be the first one to make way to compromise on the other hand it is an act of true courage & love.

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