Thursday, March 6, 2008

"why some people hurt others????????"

When someone does something to you to intentionally hurt you, it can make it much worse than if they were to do the same thing accidentally. When speaking of mental wounds, part of the reason for this is that you feel like there must have been something about you that made them want to hurt you.You may not have thought directly of pain... you may have been angry,or jealous, or some similar emotion. Those feelings only come from pain, however... you don't get angry, for instance, without feeling that someone has done something wrong to you.The same is true of others... no one truly does things just because they enjoy inflicting pain. Even if it seems that way to them, THAT feeling in turn is caused by some pain from their past.That doesn't mean that their actions are justified, by any's still wrong to hurt someone intentionally, regardless of how badly you've been hurt in the past. Your own pain isn't a valid excuse for inflicting pain on others.Think back to the last time you did something to intentionally hurt someone, even if it was very small.

What were you feeling at the time? It wasn't sweet, sugary feelings of happiness and love, was it?On the other hand, once you realize that the harm comes from the pain of another, it does make it far easier to forgive them, and some what easier to not take hurt from the actions in the first place, even when they are intended to cause pain. It takes away their power, because you realize that they are attacking from a place of weakness, not a place of strength.And it's amazing the amount of relief that you feel when you truly forgive someone... it takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge.Ever stuck with anger over what someone did to you? Did you alsoget the advice, "Forget what happened. Put it behind you and move on." It's not that easy, is it? Forgiving a wrong doer is difficult because we feel that we are letting the wrong doer off the hook. A victim tends to think, "How can I ever forgive someone who has hurt me so much." Forgiving does not equal letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to condone what someone has done to you or ever having to tolerate someone's wrongful behavior. Forgiving is not about the wrong doer, it's about you. You forgive people, not for their sake, but for your own sake. You forgive because you want to set yourself free. You set yourself free by breaking the shackles of anger, hurt, helplessness or shame and that occurs when you forgive the person who caused those feelings. . Forgiveness is not about setting conditions with all those "ifs" and"buts," it's unconditional. By setting conditions, we give power to our tormentors. When we leave that power with them, they can hurt us again. Forgiveness is really about empowering yourself and taking back the control of your life in your own hands. so we forgive them but still they always do the same hurt people's feeling's...:

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