Friday, September 19, 2008

"Loving Without Conditions"

LOVING EACH OTHER: Some Solicited Advice

> Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now and forever will take care of itself. Grow up together, constantly. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationship. Lasting relationships dont just happen, they are created. Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever.

Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to act as if there are permanent. Respect the other persons' relationships apart from you. If they are important to the one you care about, they should be important to you. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

> Take your time. Remove price tags from people. Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, if you're giving willingly. Don't feel as if you are required to spend every waking hour with those you love. Move aside from time to time and allow them a separate space too.

Never force anyone to do anything for you in the name of love. Love is not to be bargained for. Don't be afraid. Don't overanalyze your relationships. Realize that you always have choices. It's up to you. Remember that a relationship is a pooling of resources. It means that with each relationship you are not only giving, but you are becoming more.

> Don't allow relationship to burden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade. Don't lose in touch with the craziness in you. This, with a large dose of caring, will assure that your relationship will never be boring.
Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever. Don't hold on to anger. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

There are times when you want to give up on relationship but never give up on relating. Learn to listen. You don't learn anything from hearing yourself talk.

Expect what is reasonable, not what is perfect. Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with. Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out and reread it.

It resolves problems quickly. After an argument is over, forget it. Don't become involved in pettiness, ego and childish hurts.

Those will only serve to degrade your relationship and prevent closeness. Learn to bend. It's better than breaking.

Since love can be created, there is no reason to be loveless. Even though you are only half of a relationship, you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship. Remember that moral and spiritual values don't restrict, they protect.

Don't fall in love with love; you'll die with its complexities. Don't allow your relationship to die of neglect.

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