SENSUALITY Vs. SEXUALITY
There are those who claim to be 'sensual' in the manner of dress and the way they present themselves to the public eye. Then there are those who are 'sexual' in nature and present themselves the same way in the public eye. What is the difference? Is there a difference? We all have our own take on what is sensual and what is sexual. I want to breifly explore the two and see how far apart they are or how close in nature they are.
The dictionary defines SENSUAL as,
1. Pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites, carnal; fleshly. Unrestrained indulgence.
2. Lacking in moral restraints, lewd, or unchaste.
3. Arousing or exciting the senses toward sexuality. Influencing behavior and thoughts of others into immorality, wordly, materialistic, and irreligous thinking. SEXUAL is defined as, 1. Of or pertaining to sex; ocuuring between or involving the sexes or sexual behavior, including using devices (sometimes known as toys).
As one can note, there is a fine line between the two. Sensuality usually comes from the form of the female gender. Women are especially those who like to claim sensuality before they claim sexuality. With the explosion of "free love...free sex" in the 60's, bras, panties, and nice looking dresses became a hinderance to the female.
The sexual revolution began and now has turned in to the Sensual Revolution where women compete amongst themselves to bring to the table a finely trimmed body with voluptuous curves...all in the right places and showing just enough to make the man use his imagination for purposes other than getting to know the person inside. They will pose themselves in their skimpy and sometime see through underwear, shoulder straps dangling down allowing bras to slip down to the nipple area of the breast, they pull up their cute little pink nighties and expose their buttocks, or lay around in their black negligees, stand in their stockings with their thongs and call it sensual. Men see this and the immediate thought in their head is, "...love to get her in bed." No wonder so many men cannot relate to what has been written in a profile, they are too busy staring at the pictures and doing whatever they do in that moment...drooling, slobbering, and yes, even possibly masturbating.
If a woman thinks showing nearly all of her breast, and in some cases actual nipples seen through the clothing, then they have a long way to go before they realize what sensuality to a real man is. Most men, and I will speak for myself here also, are attracted to beautiful, good-looking, and cute ladies. Not necessarily in the sense of having sex with them, or going out with them, but in the sense that she takes care of herself and deserves an amount of respect. But, some of us are also impressed with minds too. I admire a woman who can carry on an intelligent conversation without one word associated with romance, sex, or sensuality involved.
I admire a woman like that as that is a form of sensuality unto itself. To a lot of men, this type of woman is frightening...scary to be around because she thinks for herself. I admire that type of woman. I admire that type of sensuality. A woman who thinks she has to show a large amount of skin in order to be sensuous or sensual is on the wrong track. If she feels this is how she must attract and lure men then she is deceiving herself as well as others. She lacks security in herself as well as in a relationship with one person. She has to have men looking at her to feel important. Most decent men do not want the lady in their life exposing themselves to the public in any type of fashion that can be used to exploit her shape, figure, form, or so-called beauty in a sexual or derogatory manner. That is not to say that a lady cannot wear clothing to fit her body, to bring attention to her beauty, to be 'sensual' and to look good in public.
Dress is a reflection of your personality and in my honest opinion, the less you have on and display in public, the weaker your personality. I have come to that conclusion through experience with those who call themselves sensual. Most men, including myself, love a woman on his arm that can attract the eye, not because of skin, but because of sheer beauty...inside and out. A woman that takes care of herself, mentally and physically, knows how this is true. Take care of yourself and you have confidence, an air about you that expresses sensuality. Being sensual and sexual in the same vein is not confidence in itself...it is narcissistic and vanity in most cases. Now sexual, lets admit, culminates from the sensual drive. It derives its power from sensuality and it weakens the flesh as well as the mind and spirit.
There are those, exibitionist in nature, who have no inhibitions about showing body parts of all sorts nor showing the various sexual encounters between humans...heterosexual and homosexual (which includes lesbianism). You can find anything you want on the internet these days, hell, its even here on myspace. Sexuality and sex can be two different things, but in most cases they are the same. Sensuality and sexuality are so closely related that in a lot of cases, there is no difference. You see it on tv, you see it at the malls, you see it in schools. It has infiltrated todays youth...some with a venom that will poison their lives forever. You want a sensual lady? I dare say that a sensual lady can be heavy, thin, medium, tall, and or short. She doesn't have to wear skimpy clothing nor show nearly all of her body parts to be sensual. She can wear an evening dress and be sensual. The right kind of clothes and if they are worn just right, can be as sensual as those who wear little or none. Start taking it off and you become sexual.
When and if a woman decides to take clothes off and pose in underwear, negligees, or for a picture taken in a bathroom with nothing but a towel hanging loosely in front of the body, and unbuttoned garments just to be showing skin, then she is reaching into the sexual part of her then so called 'sensuality.' And then, as a man, you have to wonder, who the hell is taking the some of these pictures...usually you can tell if they are self taken with a timer...look at the pose....that gives away the answer to that little question. (Oh it takes 10 seconds on a camera timer for the shot to be taken and you pressed the button and then got in that unusual position in ten seconds and had the shot taken? And the back ground and lighting techniques are just as you have it in your own living room? Yeah, right).
Beware...photos you take like that, sensual and sexual, and place in emails, websites, and blogs, profiles and pages, can come back to haunt you. That is the payoff of the internet. Once it is on the internet, it is there to stay in somebody's vault. If they want that, then go pose for Victoria's Secret catalog, Playboy magazine, or hell for that matter, Hustler. I call that exhibition...wanting and needing someone to look at them. Exploiting there own bodies for attention...which is their receipt of payment. Wanting attention. That may be what it is..."ADD"...attention deficit disorder. They seem to be starving for attention not from one person but from many. They are not happy with one person...not for long anyway.
They don't want love...they want recognition...comments about how beautiful they are, how gorgeous they are. I will tell my woman everyday how beautiful she is, not because of her sensuality, but because of who she is and what she means to me. Read some of the comments from men who don't even know the woman in her profile...look at some of the comments they leave for their so called sensual pictures. I dare say none of them use the word sensual...rather context like..."Oh Baby...you are sooooooooo Sexy...or 'Oh Baby you are so hot'...Is that bedspread mine? have we met together on it somewhere?" You never see..."Oh Baby...you are soooooooo sensual.
" Hell, you can even see comments left that infer to having sex with that person. Of course men are going to look. That is nature...men are creatures and we have a strong sexual desire, but there are those of us who can and do remain loyal to our spouses, fiance's, girlfriends, or significant others. The world of sensuality and sexuality does not interfere with our normal functions in life or influence some of us to the point that we fall into the quagmire and the trappings of lapping tongues and erect penises and trying to get our satisfaction elsewhere instead of from our partner.
Many a relationship has been destroyed because of one's "SENSUALITY." So, in my view, this is what sensuality is. It is meant for your partner's eyes...not for the whole world. If you are not an actress, a model, a Vegas Showgirl, a singer,or a strumpet save it for the person you love. Otherwise, show it and we will look. Produce it and you become exploited. I, personally, and probably because I am from the old school, have learned that if my woman is showing more than half of her body to people she doesn't even know and its on myspace, Yahoo, Mate1, adultfriends, or what ever other sites there are, then she is not being true to me. There isn't a lot of difference between sensuality and sexuality when you get right down to it. It can and will create havoc in a relationship as well as your personal life.
Some men see it and think they own you...they don't take NO for an answer. These men can really create problems for you. Some men see it and use your image for their own self satisfaction from their imaginations. Some men see it and wonder why this beautiful person presents herself like this... Others ignore it. In the long run...women use it to lure...and then wonder why they don't get and start begging for respect. So, In my humble opinion, very few people, like Marilyn Monroe for example, are the epitomy of sensuality (and at times, yes, sexual). But, there is an air about them, an aura, a halo around their heads that demand respect. They could put on a long dress and sensuality just reeked across the room. True beauty comes in many forms and it doesn't have to be naked to catch the eye.
That type of person?...They could wear sweats and still be very sensual. Its the attitude...not the way one dresses...or undresses. The way they walked, the way they talked, they way they dressed was unique and sensual unto itself. People like others who think they are sensual because they present themselves in underwear and negligees (not talking about catalogs here) and other articles of wear just to get men to look at them and drool, that is not sensual, it is sexual and in the long run you are hurting yourself. Remember, take care of yourselves...looks do not last a lifetime. It is better to have someone you can talk to now, because later in life, the beauty, the sensuality will not be present and it is not any fun talking to yourself...believe I know. And if you won a person's heart on the fact that sensuality was the weapon and the lure you used, then you will be in for a long lonely life. On my Myspace page, there are quite a few people (ladies) who are on my site with some photos that are "sensual" in nature.
Most of them are in show business. Very few are just everyday, hard working people who aren't in show business. They are there for a reason. Not because I want to gawk at their bodies and sit and imagine, but because some of them have requested me because they like my music. Others I requested, not because of sex, but because they seemed like decent people. I dare say, no pornographic sites are on my friends list...and unless someone slips through, no porno will be on my friends list. So, be sensual, but remember the restraints that morality has with it. Because sensuality is the root of sexuality. Not much difference when you really think about it.