The 10 Men Every Woman Wants
(If you only knew what she wanted all the time, you’d also know how to get what you want – all the time. BINGO!)She wants a man who…1. Thinks she’s beautiful, no matter what.Any guy can pour on the compliments when she’s wearing that little black dress with the plunging neckline and the slit up to her ribs. Or pork chops. Or whatever. But the thing that will really keep her happy is making her feel beautiful at all times, like when she’s sunburned beyond recognition, or pale and sniffly from the flu, or suffering from cramps, or after a bus has run her over.
And remember, women can tell when you’re being genuine – if they don’t have heat stroke, vomit-inducing sickness or PMS, that is. Just don’t put her on an impossibly high pedestal. She’s scared of heights, you know. Appreciate her just as much when she’s in sweats as when she’s in stilettos. Living up to some ridiculous ideal just puts undue pressure on her and never lets either of you get fully comfortable.She wants a man who…
2. Is sensitive, but not a walking Hallmark card.The “but” part is key. And that key is being sensitive in the right way. For example:- Stop to scratch a Lab’s ears when you’re out for a walk.- Mention how cute your college buddy’s little boy is.- Drop a dollar in a street musician’s cup.
These kinds of understated gestures tell her a helluva lot more than a dozen roses – and best of all – they’re a helluva lot less expensive! She wants you to be able to express yourself and read into her feelings, but don’t get all sappy on her, it just makes you seem like less of a man.She wants a man who…
3. Is her biggest fan.You don’t have to suggest a ticker-tape parade every time she gets a pedicure (unless she got it on Mars). Instead, you just need to be verbally supportive of her ambitions and her triumphs. Why? Because in high school, she intimidated guys, and because she had that one boyfriend who tried to “punish” her because she wasn’t as successful.
Every girl has had one of those – it better not have been you. Brag about her accomplishments and don’t be threatened by her. Like her for who she is and don’t try to change her, even though she’ll always try to change you. She wants a man who…
4. Has outside passions.No – not a bunch of nymphos in a van down by the river. We’re talking about hobbies here. There is nothing much more excruciating than sitting across the table from a guy who is incredibly dull. A guy who doesn’t talk about anything but his incredibly dull job and says incredibly dull things like, “So that guy in Systems?
Who got called to the carpet? By that woman in accounting..?” She cares about your day and all, but spare her the play-by-play. Because a guy that who hangs out only with work people or who brags about how he’s saved up 26 months of vacation time is NOT a sparkling conversationalist. Even if he is decked out in rhinestones.She wants a man who…
5. Won’t cheat.Obvious? Not always. You’re innocent until proven guilty, right? Not in this case. In her court, you’re guilty unless you lay down the foundations of trust first. And you’ll want to do this fast, because her interrogations will make the Spanish Inquisition look like child’s play. She’ll get you when you least expect it too.
You can be out getting a coffee and she’ll be reading the latest copy of US Weekly and say something completely innocent like, “I can’t believe someone that looks like Jack Nicholson has the balls to cheat on his girlfriends…” – and she’ll wait patiently for the next few words that come out of your mouth. You just got pop quizzed big boy. WRONG ANSWER: “Hey, he’s Jack Nicholson, he can get any girl he wants.” RIGHT ANSWER: “I don’t get why people do that. Why bother being in a relationship in the first place?” Sneaky as hell isn’t she? She wants a man who…
6. Protects her.Even raging feminists were raised on stories of knights on white horses saving the day, which is why she’ll melt if you happen to be one of those knights. If your white horse was recently sent to the glue factory, try standing up for her in ordinary situations – to your friends, to your family, the maitre’d that just gave away your table, or the annoying Starbucks punk. But don’t go too far Rambo, there’s a fine line between chivalry and assault.She wants a man who…
7. Is a little unpredictable, in a good way.When you’re in a steady relationship, things can get old fast. That’s why you hate settling down and why she can’t resist a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants guy. If you’re spontaneous, you always keep her guessing, and THAT keeps things interesting over the long haul. A favorite of mine is to pack a bag for her – YES, YOU SHOULD be able to pack a bag for her and get it right – IF you pay attention. Pack her bag, throw it in the trunk out of sight, and take her away somewhere romantic for the weekend.Make use of every chance you get to show her some adventure.
TIP: A typical (not every) woman’s idea of adventure is a five-star hotel that serves frozen drinks with umbrellas, not driving fast while blind drunk and giving a hand job. To a hitchhiker.She wants a man who…
8. Tolerates her freakish quirks – and even thinks they’re cute.Does she buy handbag after handbag, all in similar shades of green? Refuse to pee on anyone’s toilet but her own? Mail letters one at a time? Get her tongue stuck in bowling balls? Let your strength be in your silence. She’ll infer tons simply from how you react to her oddly obsessive behavior. There’s no reason to ever make her feel like she’s not perfect, or damned close to it.She wants a man who…
9. Has a good sense of humor. (You thought I was going to forget this one didn’t you?)Every woman longs for a guy that can laugh – at himself and at life. It’s just more fun to be around someone who’s funny and easy and enjoyable. People, in general, who are funny usually have a good, upbeat attitude, which is more appealing than being around a grump. Just avoid laughing at her, which, for some reason, she won’t appreciate.
Here’s a few additional rules for this one:- Don’t be too self-depricating.- Keep the really gross-out humor to a minimum- Farts are not funny. Ok, they are, but not always…It’s also important to recognize her brand of humor. Just because her humor isn’t your humor, it doesn’t mean she isn’t funny. Furthermore, if she is funny, stop feeling so threatened and let her at it (read #3 again if you need to).But she also wants a man who…
5. Won’t cheat.Obvious? Not always. You’re innocent until proven guilty, right? Not in this case. In her court, you’re guilty unless you lay down the foundations of trust first. And you’ll want to do this fast, because her interrogations will make the Spanish Inquisition look like child’s play. She’ll get you when you least expect it too.
You can be out getting a coffee and she’ll be reading the latest copy of US Weekly and say something completely innocent like, “I can’t believe someone that looks like Jack Nicholson has the balls to cheat on his girlfriends…” – and she’ll wait patiently for the next few words that come out of your mouth. You just got pop quizzed big boy. WRONG ANSWER: “Hey, he’s Jack Nicholson, he can get any girl he wants.” RIGHT ANSWER: “I don’t get why people do that. Why bother being in a relationship in the first place?” Sneaky as hell isn’t she? She wants a man who…
6. Protects her.Even raging feminists were raised on stories of knights on white horses saving the day, which is why she’ll melt if you happen to be one of those knights. If your white horse was recently sent to the glue factory, try standing up for her in ordinary situations – to your friends, to your family, the maitre’d that just gave away your table, or the annoying Starbucks punk. But don’t go too far Rambo, there’s a fine line between chivalry and assault.She wants a man who…
7. Is a little unpredictable, in a good way.When you’re in a steady relationship, things can get old fast. That’s why you hate settling down and why she can’t resist a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants guy. If you’re spontaneous, you always keep her guessing, and THAT keeps things interesting over the long haul. A favorite of mine is to pack a bag for her – YES, YOU SHOULD be able to pack a bag for her and get it right – IF you pay attention. Pack her bag, throw it in the trunk out of sight, and take her away somewhere romantic for the weekend.Make use of every chance you get to show her some adventure.
TIP: A typical (not every) woman’s idea of adventure is a five-star hotel that serves frozen drinks with umbrellas, not driving fast while blind drunk and giving a hand job. To a hitchhiker.She wants a man who…
8. Tolerates her freakish quirks – and even thinks they’re cute.Does she buy handbag after handbag, all in similar shades of green? Refuse to pee on anyone’s toilet but her own? Mail letters one at a time? Get her tongue stuck in bowling balls? Let your strength be in your silence. She’ll infer tons simply from how you react to her oddly obsessive behavior. There’s no reason to ever make her feel like she’s not perfect, or damned close to it.She wants a man who…
9. Has a good sense of humor. (You thought I was going to forget this one didn’t you?)Every woman longs for a guy that can laugh – at himself and at life. It’s just more fun to be around someone who’s funny and easy and enjoyable. People, in general, who are funny usually have a good, upbeat attitude, which is more appealing than being around a grump. Just avoid laughing at her, which, for some reason, she won’t appreciate.
Here’s a few additional rules for this one:- Don’t be too self-depricating.- Keep the really gross-out humor to a minimum- Farts are not funny. Ok, they are, but not always…It’s also important to recognize her brand of humor. Just because her humor isn’t your humor, it doesn’t mean she isn’t funny. Furthermore, if she is funny, stop feeling so threatened and let her at it (read #3 again if you need to).But she also wants a man who…
10. Can be serious when it counts.On the other hand, when her appendix bursts, she doesn’t want you cracking jokes while she drowns in toxic bodily fluids. In a long-term relationship, women want a guy who’s solid, especially when the chips are down. And it isn’t just how you cope with the major crises. Even if a minor mishap rocks her world, like her goldfish dies, don’t shrug it off or laugh. Instead, make it easy on her: She wants to know she can put her head on your shoulder. Without having to first remove it from her own.Yep. I think that about covers it. Just be ALL THOSE THINGS and I guarantee you eternal blissful happiness with SOMEBODY....
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