Thursday, October 16, 2008

What attracts men to a woman

Learn What You Need , Share What You know

The traditional view of males is that "all guys care about is looks!

Women have grown used to the idea that guys pursue them on the basis of looks, body shape and superficial matters. Have you heard a beautiful woman saying: "And I have brains too?" I have, and I have always wondered what that meant. Conversely, females have expressed frustration because "Guys just don't get it. I am more than a body," many say.

In my own coaching journey with hundreds of males and females I have come to reverse that view of males by testing it time after time. Right now, I am ready to say, "Mostly, not true, though on the surface it appears like that's all guys care about."

Contrary to popular belief, guys are incredibly intuitive, and they "get it." They really do! Even young boys as old as 12 get it! Amazing, uh?

Oh I know! Guys initially respond to the face, the eyes, the body and the looks. I am a guy! That is true. Guys "fall in love' with the looks." Amazingly enough though, every time I have asked a guy at the gym or some other setting: "Tell me what you see inside that girl you like?" The answers are shockingly clear, precise and accurate. Guys are like X-Ray machines!

Guys are "attracted" to the outside but they intuitively see what's inside right away. The inside of a woman is ALWAYS revealed on the outside regardless of her looks. Almost ninety percent of who you are is revealed in what's called body language and non verbal ways.

It shows up in the way you stand, the way you handle your body when you walk. Self-confidence is seen in the eyes. Lack of self-esteem is seen in the way you walk and answer questions. Your inside world can never be hidden because your body talks it out!

A guy looks at a girl and he can tell by the way she handles her purse at the store register if she is aggressive or receptive.

A guy can look at the most gorgeous body and he instinctively knows if that girl is used to being in control or if she is dependent on the affirmation of others. A guy can read a whole story through the body of a woman.

He can tell how she feels about herself and guys. A guy can tell if a woman is in a good marriage or not. It all shows up! Scary, uh?

I was with a group of guy friends at a party some time ago and I did what I often do: Ask funny questions to see what responses I get. "Hey, Mike do you see that girl over there? Describe her for me," I told him. He did. One hour later I made my way through the crowd to talk to that girl who I had never met before.

Five minutes into the conversation: Bingo! Beautiful woman. Low self-esteem. Couldn't look at my eyes. Her answers were evasive. Bad luck with boyfriends. She was 21. How did my friend get it? He had never met her. He had never talked to her. Her body language spoke louder than her words!

If you are a woman, here are some of the things guys intuitively understand about you before they even approach you.

If you have a gorgeous, fit body but your facial features look "hard" (Guys call it a "pinched look") it will be a warning signal to guys looking at you.

Resentment in a woman's face develops "edges" in a woman's face and makes her look hard. She looks and acts intimidating. It doesn't matter how well-mannered she is, her resentment shows through everything she does!

If you are well dressed, but your face looks sad, "distracted," and you lack a glow of inner peace and tranquility, it's another red light for a guy. Your face tells a guy if you have low-self esteem or not. Nervous chit-chat doesn't change the picture. A guy still knows what low self-esteem looks like. When you are upset and angry your face looks "emotionless." The muscles are tight! Men tend to keep their distance when they see that.

Guys are attracted to faces that give off a light or a glow that draws people to you. Being at peace with yourself is reflected in a "softness" of your cheeks, jaw, mouth and eye area that makes you look approachable.

The second thing every guy looks at, every time he is attracted to a woman is your eyes. Always. A guy told me once: "Everytime I look at my girlfriend's eyes I know if she loves me or not. Her eyes are like a thermostat!" It doesn't matter how much make-up you put on and what kind of eye liner you have used. Your eyes reveal everything.

Your eyes tell a guy if you are approachable or not. When you are judgmental, your pupils contract and your eyes look hard! Your eyes tell a guy if you are happy with yourself. Your eyes speak the clearest language of the soul.

"Muddled-cloudy" eyes are a clear sign of internal unresolved issues and deception. A woman that is planning to betray, or has betrayed a guy first shows her true intentions in her eyes. A woman's spirit always shows up in the eyes!

Your lips reflect your inner attitude. Your lips get narrowed when you are resentful or full of anger. There is nothing more magical than a women's smile. Yet, don't forget this A guy also knows if your smile is just photogenic or if it's attached to a kind, loving, warm heart. There is a difference! A guy once told me: "When a woman looks at your eyes and smiles at you, you know it came from the heart. When a woman smiles and her eyes are evasive she is just using her smile to get away!" A woman that smiles at a man with the heart shares life with him! This is a warning for those that date on line! Pictures can be deceiving until you hear the voice and feel the tone of the heart!
If you are a woman and you are reading this article, do yourself a favor!

Go to males you know and ask them what they see in you. Talk to the men in your life. Ask your husband or boyfriend honestly and you will get an answer. Listen carefully and learn. They have the clue. "What can you tell about me by just looking at me?" The longer that person has known you the better!

If you are resentful to begin with, be careful A guy may not be willing to answer your question honestly! If you are married or have a boyfriend, you may think this exercise is irrelevant because you've got your "catch" in your net and you are done searching! Warning: That attitude could cost you your relationship in the future. Be who you are for the world.

If you learn how to be attractive to men in a proper way your husband and boyfriend will appreciate that more than you can imagine. Working on you is not about keeping a relationship rolling. It's about being attractive to the world because you matter in a much larger sense.

I have found guys incredibly intuitive and knowledgeable about a woman's inner world. A woman's "looks" always reflect who they are in the inside. A guy may be sexually attracted to you but the moment he met you he knew a lot about your inner world also.

What he knows about your inner world goes into a different file for future use. Knowing that factor about guys would save women many headaches and unwanted entanglements.

Do you want me to tell you the raw truth? We guys play "double". We go for the body but we know your inner world immediately. We may play for a while but when it comes to decision making we know what we have to do.

That's what so cruel about the game of the genders.

If you are the kind of woman that cultivates her inner world, we will be charmed and enchanted by what we see. If you are genuinely happy and enjoy a healthy level of self-esteem and self-respect you don't need to worry about us just being attracted to your "looks".

Why? Because passion, acceptance and warmth will be written all over you.

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