Wednesday, January 23, 2008

10 Things To Avoid If You Want A Lasting Relationship By: Marjorie Janczak

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes However in today's world, love seems to have assumed a different meaning. The problem of separation among couples is becoming overwhelming great and that in effect is affecting societal morals. It is interesting to reflect back and realize that in the days of our parents, such problems hardly existed. They managed to handle their differences and kept their love aflame. But how did they really do that? Below are some love killers that anyone who is concerned about keeping his/her love true must avoid.

1.Never go into a relationship just thinking about the financial wealth of your partnerHaving a partner who can provide you with financial freedom and luxury is good but be careful not to just love his/her riches and think you really love him/her because that would not be true and should there be some misunderstanding, this money love would result definitely in a separation. In as much as money is good in any situation, it can be a devil and so if care is not taken, one time sweethearts may end up as the worse enemies that ever lived.

2.Accepting your partner because of his/her educational achievements or statusIf you can openly and confidently present your less educated partner to the public then that is not an issue. But if you can only love and feel free with the less educated partner only in the privacy of your home then you rather think twice before deciding to spend the rest of your life with him/her because this can spark troubles.

3.If you cannot tolerate your partner's faith (if different from yours)It might seem in the beginning that love would solve this problem. But the reality is that if deep inside you refuse to accept the other partner's FAITH it is most likely that it might disturb you even when you have been together for a long time. Wars have risen because of religion from old times and they are still be fought because of religion, so both parties MUST make sure that they respect each other's FAITH if you decide not to change FAITHS.

4.Loving the color of your partner's skinThink not of the origin of a partner, think of your compatibility. Love knows no limits and what is more the problem of racism could be solved if the number of mixed raced children increase. You hardly realize how baseless racism is until you have mixed blood children.

5.Being or having a partner who is not supportive of your dreamsA partner who does not take time to discuss with you your future together or who ignores what you want out of life is worth thinking twice about. Every human being needs encouragement and support no matter how independent you may be and there is no better person to give such support and encouragement than your beloved partner.

6.Having a partner who just cannot exhibit care, warmth, generosity and positive energy : A partner who simply cannot show care, warmth, generosity and positive energy just does not deserve to be loved and be with. If you happen to be the partner who keeps giving all the time then it is about time you took a decisive and definite decision to call it quits no matter how much love you have for this other person because it just would not happen. If your partner could not acquire such qualities all the years he has lived till you meeting him/her, NEVER think you can work any miracles to change the situation. Whatever will be will be!

7.Just because the other person submits to your every wish and command : In Napoleon Hill's classic 'Think and Grow Rich' he talks about two kinds of leadership – Leadership by Consent of, and with the sympathy of the followers and Leadership by Force, without the consent and sympathy of the followers. He further states that those who belong to the old school of leadership- by-force, must acquire an understanding of the new brand of leadership (cooperation) or be relegated to the rank and file of the followers since there will be no way out for them. One very important thing he added is that “Leadership-by-consent of the followers is the only brand which can endure. The fact is, this applies perfectly with couples as well. Being the 'Head of the house' or 'breadwinner' or any other excuse you can think of or imagine gives you no license to 'lord' or 'lady' it over your partner. Harmony is a vital ingredient of any relationship and the can only happen if there is respect, agreement and consent of both parties involved. So whatever side you are in such a relationship note that, the weaker partner will follow the forced leadership, but it will not be done willingly and for long.

8.Thinking a partner must be treated according to the number of years they have existed on earthAge is just but a number. True love and respect for each other is all that matters in a relationship that longs to be meaningful and lasting. After all there are adults who behave like children and children who are more matured than their age.

9.Choosing a partner just to ensure you will have a heir to your 'throne.' Children are gifts to a couple. But when a partner's main aim is to 'replenish the earth' then it becomes a danger and a threat to the relationship because should the unwanted happen, the 'blameless' one tend to start nursing some resentment for the 'troubled partner' and this is certainly not healthy for a lasting relationship. You need to love your partner just as he or she is!

10.Enter or be in any relationship other than to truly love and be truly loved! : Signs of lack of love for one's self is enough evidence of a partner's inability to give true love. If you can truly love yourself, then you are on the right path to giving and being loved by another. You need not say it. Love is the message and the message is LOVE!

There is more to loving than meets the eye but a thousand steps they say, begins with a step. Consciously and uncompromisingly working to maintain your relationship is the only way to have it last. Like any business, the business of love also needs to be worked on in every respect. The need to communicate the right way in order to send the right signals are very vital in this instance. In this way the couple can identify what is lacking in the relationship and they can subsequently make a collective effort to make the relationship work. Let not your love be just words, act it, it's more powerful!

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