Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Don’t be Afraid of being Sexually Attractive

Off late, I have been greatly criticized because of the way I define sexual confidence and the views I have expressed about sexual desire. This is because my views are in contrast to what the West thinks. As per me, I feel the West thinking of sexuality is still very primitive. It is dangerous too because it makes men and woman do things which they would never do by themselves. Many still keep their sexual desires very secret and make decisions based on a framework laid down thinking that sexual desires are something that can be subjected to such inflexible mechanism.

I have no issues with it, we live in an age where each individual is free to choose.

I keep writing about this parochial way of sexual confidence because I meet men and women across all the strata of society and each of them is grappling with the problem of expressing their sexual desire which is in absolute contradiction to the norms that the society expects all of us to adhere to. So the result is that none of the people are able to express their sexual existence in a healthy and productive manner – which it was truly meant to be.

All of us, men as well as women think of act when we hear the word “sexual”. We have all been conditioned to think like that. All we feel, when we hear anything sexual is that if we let ourselves enjoy what we feel we will be committing the greatest sin for which we will be punished in the most brutal and horrid way.

Another supposedly liberal version of being sexual is all let loose show. You allow yourself to freely express yourself, nothing limits you and you can do anything since you think it is supposed to be like that! This too is a childish way to express sexuality.
I reiterate what I said earlier, every individual in this world has his/her freedom of choice.

I will tell you what the fact is. There have been many books written on sexual confidence and lot of programs have been run to give you technicalities about sex. These are effective but in a very limited manner. They are fruitful for those who think that sexual power and realization of what you truly are not at all linked. For those who just want to calm those jumping hormones these books are fine, but for those who seek much more such books and programs can throw a spanner into their life.

Cultivating and sustaining sexual confidence is not at all complex. It has just been made complex by the world over a period of time.Sexual confidence has nothing to do with how big an organ you have or how well you are at belly dancing or how much your skin you show.

Sexual confidence is above all these physical aspects. Sexual confidence is knowing what you truly are and expressing your sexuality in your own unique style. Human sexuality is composed of a lot many factors like personal values, experiences, sensations, thoughts, emotions, what attracts you and how you desire to express yourself and how you view yourself to be. Sexual confidence is understand each of these factors and their relationship and express them in a way that makes you feel more fulfilled and bring peace and joy to you.

You may be smart and good at striking conversations, but if you want to focus your sexual desire in to your groin area it is not worth hit. Worse, having this kind of attitude is detrimental and it is the worst thing that you could do to you physical, emotional and mental well being.

And for god’s sake don’t tell me the moves – caress the ear, kiss the neck for 2 minutes, next run fingers on the back, move over to the thighs and then turn her on the back and get it done with. This kind of a mechanical and dry run makes me feel that sex is a math puzzle which we all humans are trying with the help of various permutations and combinations.

Sexual desire is perfectly normal. It is not a sin to have sexual desires. We have been created like this. Accept these facts. Every living being on this earth has sexual capabilities. It is nothing unnatural emotion that we are harboring. It is how our whole human kind has cultured into communities and societies. It is just as natural a process as eating, walking, talking etc. The sexual emotions and desires that you feel are an integral part of human existence. It is nothing but love trying to happen. To express such desire is the ultimate bliss, one that vanquishes all fear – the love of how we are linked to the nature.

The issue here is our fear. We fear that we will get transformed into someone we have not yet known. Being powerless is not what we are afraid of. On the contrary, it is the power that we are endowed with which pulls us back.

Just give a thought to what your life would transform to if you come to about how fulfilling and satisfying life is when you live in harmony with your sexual desires. What would the whole experience of living in harmony with your sexual power, wisdom and consciousness be? What would it be when you get all the focus you need without toiling for it?

Do not manipulate your emotions and instead just let them flow in their natural form. Just imagine if you get the gift of telling who is attracted towards you. How would it feel to view yourself in a different light when you are attracted to someone, just because there is a very great part of yours which you can dedicate to that person? Wouldn’t it be great if you master all the techniques inside and outside the bedroom? You will definitely lead a lot better life if you are able to express and share you sexual personality and are always filled with passion and vitality.

But just imagining it won’t help you. Act now to realize it. Show all the inhibitions you have had. You will soon start to realize life both in and out of your sexual desires."I'm very willing to share my desires."

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