Friday, January 25, 2008

Dating a single mom

In today's society, it is not uncommon for you to date a single mom at some time in your life. This can be a problem for some men. They may not want to date someone that has children.However, this cannot be controlled if they feel a special bond to them. The one thing to remember is that you are dating the person and the role of the person.

A woman will want to be noticed and appreciated for every one of her qualities and not judged by a role that she is in.Sometimes having children was not a situation that she wanted to be in but just one that happened and now it is her responsibility.

1) Exploring the RelationshipIf you really like a woman and you want to go on and explore the relationship further, you will have to concentrate on the one on one part first. There will be a time and place to meet her child or children later on in the relationship.It is first going to about getting to know her better and learn how to start trust each other. You need to move past the fact that she is a mom and worry about that a little bit later on. First, see where the
relationship is going and what you are both feeling.

2) Accept the children's needsYou will eventually have to realize and accept that the children's needs are a going to be a priority at times. She does not really want to cancel an important date with you but if her child is sick or she cannot get a babysitter this is something that you have to deal with.As a man, you will have to come to the realization that her children come first and they are the most important part of her life. You need to be prepared for any last minute changes or cancellations that can happen because she has other obligations at home.Do not take it out on her when she does have to cancel for these reasons. It is not her fault or the fault of the child. It happens and it is best to be flexible and understanding when these things come up.You need to make sure that you do not give her the guilt trip when she has to cancel plans or if something would come up. You need to make sure that give her a chance to explain and make other arrangements for a next time.

3) Meet the children on her termsWhen it does come time to meet her children, you have to do it on her terms and her schedule. Make sure that you are putting yourself in the shoes of the children for a minute. They have probably had a hard time with the separation of their parents.This is usually a hard time to see his or her mom go out with someone else. You need to be patient and understanding. Try to be their friend but do not push them or expect too much at all. You have to be able to accept them for who they are and how they feel.Give it time and you will see that things should work themselves out and everyone will get along eventually.

4) Never expect too muchYou should not expect to be welcomed in by her children or other family members right away. You need to be patient and have understanding about what is going on. This is going to be a difficult transaction and one that needs to be dealt with care and devotion.Having a good method of understanding with everyone is going to be the best way to get through this time. You cannot push anyone to like you and never act cocky or arrogant in any way.Having common sense. Think about how you would feel if you were put in the same situation. You want to make sure that you are giving everyone space and time. Never push a woman into making her kids do something or giving her a guilt trip when she cannot go out with you. You do not want to make this a hard situation.

In fact, you can make sure that you are giving her support when it comes to this situation. She will appreciate you more because you are being so supportive and understanding with her and her children.

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