Friday, March 6, 2009

"Identify The Player,The Gamer,The Heartbreaker"

T h e P l a y e r

1.) The Player is charming. He has spent most of his existence learning what women like to hear. He will tell you that you are beautiful, and sexy and smart. He is sweet and considerate and pays rapt attention to everything you say so that he can bring it up again later, to impress you with how well he listens and remembers what is important to you. He more than likely pulls out chairs and opens doors. He is every romantic character you have ever seen in a chick flick. The Player knows how to make you feel special. After all, he has never met a girl like you, and he will be sure to tell you that.

2.) The Player is handsome. He takes care of himself and is well groomed. You can dress him up, dress him down, or undress him, and he is going to look good. He doesn't act conceited and may even be a little self deprecating. (Which could also fall under 'charming'.) His living space will also be immaculate. No socks on this guy's bedroom floor. Odds are, he has never missed a dentist appointment or a day at the gym. Appreciate the aesthetics, he works hard to look this good for you. It's the grownup version of playing with your Ken doll. Enjoy.

3.) The Player is smart. He has to be. It's like he is playing six games of chess at once, he has a lot of details to remember. He is knowledgeable. He knows a little bit about everything and a lot about a lot of things. If you have an interest, he will be prepared to discuss it with you. If he is not, he certainly will be the next time you see him. He isn't boring and will not embarrass you in front of your friends by saying something stupid. He is perfectly suitable to take to your parent's house or to your company party, where he will make you look good, by being his intelligent self. And the handsome and charming parts don't hurt either.

4.) The Player is adaptable. He is exactly what you want him to be. You like the outdoorsy type? He lives to hike and camp and fish. He has a standing once a year hiking trip with his buddies, and a million funny stories about the time they got chased by a bear and his friend got poison ivy in his boxer shorts. You like a family man? He adores his mom, and makes her breakfast every Sunday. You like good wine and fine dining? He can tell you the best and least known specialties of every chef and restaurant in the tri-state area, and probably a few in other countries as well. No matter what your ideal man is, he's it.

5.) The Player doesn't pressure you. Though he will more than likely tell you that the reason he has never settled down is because he hasn't found the right woman yet. He won't try to push you into a commitment because he never develops actual emotions, he is too busy trying to be who you want him to be to give a second thought into caring who you actually are. And a truly sophisticated player may very well be running his game on half a dozen other women also. That's a lot to keep track of. He also won't pressure you into sleeping with him, saying he is "patient". Which is easy enough if you are getting it elsewhere also. Which leads me to....

6.) The Player is good in bed. The man has skills. He has had lots of practice! He's got the moves down and probably a few signature tricks up his sleeve. It's all about you, Baby. He knows where, when and how often to touch you. He knows what works in general and is quick to figure out what works for you. He can be rough and kinky, or sweet and romantic. Whatever you are in the mood for, the Player can skillfully oblige. If you are looking for someone who can rock your socks and make your toes curl (multiple times), this is your man. Prepare to be pleasantly exhausted.

I highly recommend dating a player at least once in your life. Personally, I prefer the ones with dimples. They are the ideal guy to date when you are coming out of a romantic relationship and want an ego boost and just need to have some fun. However! There are a couple of rules to remember when dating the Player. DON'T expect him to be permanent.

This is a fun-for-awhile type of guy. Packaged for a few months of pleasure, max. DON'T fall in love. He isn't real, and you must remember that he really is just like that romantic character in the movie, he's an actor. (Yes, yes, we all fell in love with Hugh Jackman in Kate & Leopold. My point exactly.)

DON'T start to think you might actually be the woman to change him. Not possible. And even if you did succeed, he wouldn't be that guy anymore. He'd be the guy that does leave his socks on the floor and is more interested in watching the game than getting it on in the shower. He's the guy that forgets your anniversary.

So, remember the rules, date the most experienced Player you can find, and have the time of your life. For a limited time only. ;-)

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