Men, Sex, and Porn

Men's Libido

So much has been written about women's sexuality it is time to publish some bare facts to explain, unpolished, the other side of the equation; men.

When it comes to sex, men are by nature predators; women are selectors. That happy mix ensures the continuation of our species.

Men are not by nature monogamous; that explains their wandering eye. Indeed consciously or unconsciously men are constantly and compulsively on the hunt.




For example, that guy you passed in the hall has already mentally undressed you, decided if he would have sex with you; and how. So does every other man you meet unless he's gay, then he's looking past you and focusing on the guy standing beside you. Surprised? Hurt? Flattered? Don't be, its men's nature. And in the great scheme of things, meaningless.

Sex drives men from puberty through old age. It is their "raison d'etre", their purpose in life; to reproduce. Everything else is, well, fluff. It diminishes with age but never disappears. Sex is a primitive - primordial - urge.

The sex urge drives them hard; it is wired deep into the primitive levels of their brains; alongside the other basic drives. The bottom line? Without this urge we would never survive as a species.

Men are emotional animals too. They can and do meet and stay faithful to one woman for life. They fall in love and trust completely. Men have been compared to dogs; bright, fun to be with, a hair dumb at times and if unfixed, constantly horny. If we're dogs, then women are cats and have all the traits that go with the feline makeup. That, however, is another story.

Women have sex drives too, however theirs is not driven by a unique glandular and hormonal combination. A German study found that while women's sex drives drop significantly after they enter a secure relationship, men's don't.

Unlike girls, at puberty, boys are given two special and important gifts from nature; testosterone and a prostate gland. The prostate is the main producer of seminal fluid and once it's turned on it never turns off. Manufacturing semen 24/7, its fluid lubricates the urethra and ensures reproductive system health; in addition to its primary purpose of ensuring the safe delivery of sperm. Testosterone is what drives this system and injects aggression into the mix.

As an active gland the prostate insists on being emptied frequently. Depending on age, and the man, this may be as often as once a day; maybe more. Less as they age and hormones diminish.
This is accomplished through sex, masturbation or nocturnal emissions. And it's not an option; it has to be done to maintain health - mental and reproductive. In a practical sense frequent emission of semen ensures healthy sperm.

There are many other glands that makeup the male reproductive system that also produce fluids. There is the Cowpers Gland (Bulburethral gland), glands of Littre, seminal vesicle, vas deferens, epididymis (where sperm are stored), and of course, two testicles. The testes produce billions of sperm on a weekly basis; billions that don't take kindly to sitting in the epididymis for long. They want out. Men produce an estimated quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000) sperm in a lifetime.

As any sexually active woman knows, her significant other is driven to have sex. This is nature at work, pushing the male to reproduce above all else; sometimes to the expense of all else. The reward is an orgasm, relief, a reduction in stress, emotional bonding; and the start of a countdown until the next time.

If sex is not available, men masturbate. If they don't, nature empties the glands while he sleeps. The prostate doesn't care; when it's filled to capacity it has to eject; fortunately not spontaneously. In many men a full prostate is painful.

Men are visual when it comes to sex; it is part of the feedback loop. That's why women appear pretty or sexy. It's what attracts men to women.

How does pornography fit into this picture? Simple. It is a visual feedback stimulant.

Many men have a need for additional stimulation. This is accomplished in various levels depending on a combination of factors including character, sex drive, sex life, stress, hormones - any number of things. Porn adds a visual stimulant that helps taper or increase the sex drive.



Porn adds pleasure during masturbation also filling in for an absent female. Porn is material fantasy; a replacement for, or supplement to mental fantasy. Women get confused about this. Men aren't having sex with the models in the pornography, the stimulant is watching others having sex.

Some men find a trip to Hooters stimulating. Others frequent strip joints. Some up the ante with drugs or alcohol. Others employ the world's oldest professional, prostitutes. Still others are compulsive cheaters. The testosterone is all controlling, demonstrable through male risk taking and aggression (an observation, not an excuse).

If you want a demonstration of how primitive men's sex drives are add some beer to the mix. Watch as his social barriers diminish and his sex drive take over. Men will have sex with just about any female after a few drinks; hence the term 'beer goggles'. Some men need alcohol to have sex as they need help in reducing inhibitions or they find their mate unattractive. Too much liquor however and all bets are off.

Many readers may disavow this article and they're welcome to. Men are however all wired the same and subject to the same urges. Indignant women may think "my husband's not like that." Knock yourself out. Sex drives all men from Presidents to the preachers and all in between.

What differs is the intensity of the drive and the means used to satisfy it. Like all other aspects of our personalities, life experiences and morals may add further tweaks to that mix.

The male sex drive has been around since the beginning of time. When it disappears, so too shall we.