Friday, March 6, 2009

Make a decision to be happy, learn how in less than 1 minute

People always ask me why I am so happy and easy going. Its simple, very very simple. Take control of your life. You decide what it takes to make you happy then make decisions to get there. You decide what you will and won't allow in your life then you dictate just that.

Tell the truth and surround yourself with people that are ok with that. You can't imagine how much of a burden lies are in your life. Just one more thing keeping you from true happiness.

If there are people in your life who cant accept the truth, do not defend your words and actions to make them believe you. Let them choose if they want to believe you or not, them believing you is not your problem. In my last relationship I spent so much energy trying to get her to see that I am an open book that it turned me into a person I didn't like.

I was continually trying to make her see that I am a genuine person without motives. Its amazing how much bending on what you know is right for you does to your life. I'll never do it again.

Decide what is right for you and your life and stick with it. How people react or accept that should not factor into your decisions of what is right or wrong. This can be hard, but being easy or hard doesn't factor into right/wrong.

Those are two completely separate things, don't confuse them. If its right then do it, no matter how hard it is. Trust me, once you do this enough and see the results it becomes very easy. Its all about confidence.

Embrace confrontation. However, you can't truly embrace confrontation until you are confident in what you believe. Once you are confident in yourself and your thoughts, confrontation actually becomes very easy.

Never get personal with confrontation, just state the facts. Amy, I don't like when you say and do xyz. Now its up to her, not you, to decide if she wants to stay in your life. That's why my life is easy. I make the rules for my life, you can either follow them or not be in it. Its that simple.

Once you are confident in what is right for you, set boundaries to maintain that. Life becomes black and white after that, if someone crosses the boundary you confront them and let them know. If they keep crossing them then they don't get to be part of your life anymore. Its that simple. Do not let other people influence or effect your happiness.

I'm going to say that again, do not let other people influence or effect your happiness.

Be consistent. Stick with what you believe and stick with it every time. Your surroundings do not affect what you believe to be right for yourself. If people aren't accepting of you, don't change, just state who you are and live accordingly. Them liking it doesn't factor in to any part of the equation.

Be real, don't be fake to gain acceptance or approval from anyone. Think about it, if you do gain their acceptance or approval then you have to maintain the fake person you pretended to be to keep them. So you are signing up for not being yourself and adapting your beliefs when you are around them.

This is destructive behavior to yourself and the people you are around. That's why life gets complicated, you have to be different people around different crowds. If you can be the same exact person around everyone and have the same exact story around everyone, imagine how easy your life would be?

Imagine how easy your life would be if everyone played by your rules? Not possible? I disagree. There are always rules you have to follow when you are dealing with other people and the world, but when you are dealing with you and other people are dealing with you then its absolutely true.

Be fair at all times. You'll be amazed at how much people appreciate it and once again how easy it makes your life.

Just so you know, this kind of life is not easy. When someone does something i don't appreciate, I tell them. This does not mean I am mad or don't like you, I am just letting you know that you did something I don't like. That has nothing to do with the person you are.

People will have a hard time believing this. But again, that's not your problem, if you try to make other peoples problems yours then go ahead and sign up for unhappiness.

Just a few things that popped in my head.

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