I want to share with you an insight
I've learned recently about the secret to a more
connected and fulfilling relationship...
A secret that is SO big it can literally change
your perspective, not only on your relationship
but also on your entire life.
If you can have this one key component in your
life AND in your relationship, it can make the
difference between a miserable situation where
you're feeling like he's not able to see or respond
to any of your needs... or may not even CARE...
And a relationship that feels not just CONNECTED
and intimate, but actually makes you feel more
alive and MORE LIKE YOURSELF than when you're
anywhere else, or with anyone else.
So let me ask you:
How do YOU feel when you're with your man?
Do you feel like he understands you, like he
supports you and is on your side?
Or do you feel like you're never able to BE YOURSELF,
relax, or feel content?
As a matter of fact, do you feel as if the "issues"
in your relationship are keeping you from focusing
on other, perhaps MORE IMPORTANT things in your life?
Does your relationship "take you away" from the woman
you used to be, or the woman you WANT to be?
If you're in a great relationship right now, and you
feel that there's NO ONE else who makes you feel
more alive, enthusiastic and happy... then nothing
I'm going to say in this e-mail is going to be news
In fact, if you stick around to read this I bet
what you'll learn will just VALIDATE what you've
BUT... if you're feeling LOST, lonely, desperate or
depressed about the state of your love life, then
I bet that what I'm about to tell you is going to
CHANGE the way you experience your life and your
It has to do with how you look at your life, and how
your relationship fits in with the vision you have of
If you're in a relationship for ALL THE WRONG REASONS,
you'll often experience these:
-- feeling like you used to be a happier, more confident
woman before you met him
-- feeling constantly frustrated and unhappy in the
relationship and maybe not even knowing WHY half the
-- feeling "out of control" with the amount of problems
that keep coming up with your man
-- feeling like the man you're with has changed, or
that YOU have changed, and you're not connected anymore
If any of the above sound familiar, that's great!
Because I'm about to give you the 2 most powerful KEYS
to changing how you feel about yourself, your life and
most importantly...your RELATIONSHIP.
Here we go...
KEY #1: Define Your "P.O.P"
Every person on this planet has something that is unique
to them, but it's also something most people aren't
aware of or know about themselves.
This "something" is so important because it is the
defining value that dictates everything you do, whether
for your career, or your family, or in your romantic
It affects where you live, what friends you have, and
what you do each and every day.
What is it?
It's your P.O.P. - your Purpose On the Planet.
Your POP is the legacy you'll leave. It is what you do
for others, and how the world sees you. It is the thing
that DRIVES you, that makes you happy when you're doing
it, that makes you feel ALIVE.
What's funny about this is that every person has a
Purpose. But not every person knows what their purpose IS.
Why is having and KNOWING your purpose important for
overall happiness, and specifically- for RELATIONSHIP
Knowing what your purpose is opens up your life, because
it gives you confidence about all the decisions you make
on a daily basis. "Do I take this job? Do I continue this
relationship? Do I spend time with this friend? Do I spend
my money on this, or that?"
Having a purpose defines WHO YOU ARE and WHERE YOU'RE
GOING in life. When you know your purpose, confusion and
frustration drop away, because everything can be summed
up with one question: Does this (job/relationship/decision)
serve my purpose?
Having a purpose and knowing it makes you feel that you
are living ON PURPOSE, that you don't just HAVE an ultimate
goal, but that everything in your life SERVES that goal,
even if it feels or seems mundane.
Knowing your Purpose is the first step to realizing
relationship happiness. I'll explain why in a sec.
Here's how you figure out what your POP is:
Take a look at your life and write down the reason BEHIND
everything that's every made you feel happy and joyous.
Maybe you're creative and the times you've felt your
best is when you've created something unique and special.
Maybe you're devoted to your family and what makes you
happy is seeing your family doing better because of
your hard work and love.
So take a few minutes right now and start thinking about
what makes you happy, and why.
Whatever it is, it can probably be summed up in a
sentence or two:
"My Purpose on the Planet is to help others realize their
"My Purpose on the Planet is to create beauty for others
"My Purpose is to help my kids become happy and successful
Whatever you discover, there is one important caveat
when considering what your POP is. A Purpose - with a
capital P--is something you do in SERVICE to others.
It's a way that others benefit because of your work and
Even if it seems like your Purpose is something you're
doing for yourself, I'm sure if you dig deeper you'll
see how what you're doing is ultimately benefiting someone
else (like the example of creating art in order to bring
more beauty to others).
Once you know your POP, you'll see clearly why there have
been times in your life where you've felt unfulfilled,
frustrated or depressed about a job, a friendship, or a
If what you had been doing wasn't serving your Purpose,
or perhaps even going AGAINST or taking you away from your
Purpose, subconsciously it set off all kinds of warning
bells in your head.
When you are taken away or off-track from your Purpose,
it definitely drains your energy and makes you feel a
So if you've ever been in a relationship that ended and
afterwards you said to yourself, "FINALLY! I can get my
There's a reason why you felt like that.
The reason is because your had "lost" your Purpose
while you were in the relationship.
And that's why key #2 is just as important for long-term
KEY #2: Define the Purpose of Your Relationship
How many times have you heard someone say that they and
their partner have "similar values"?
If you've ever felt totally turned off by someone you
met on a date, one of the reasons you may have felt
this way is that you subconsciously sensed that man
had a different set of VALUES than you did.
Maybe he was an egomaniac who bragged about his sports
car and how much money he was going to make this year...and
you're an environmentalist who likes to live simply and
volunteer for her community.
Anyway, you get what I'm saying here.
Having similar "values" is important to any relationship.
But it's not ENOUGH for relationship success just to have
In order to be truly fulfilling and connected for the
long-term, your relationship also needs to serve each
A friend of mine recently got married, and I attended
their wedding. He and his new wife had included their
"relationship purpose" in the vows they made to each other.
They vowed to spend their life promoting peace by doing
regular volunteer work together in their community.
As a matter of fact, they plan on taking 6 months off
from their jobs in order to backpack around the world,
but spending most of the time on various volunteer
projects in the communities they're going to visit.
What's great about this is that their RELATIONSHIP not
only serves each of their individual purposes, they
support their common purpose as well.