Thursday, November 20, 2008

Are You Tired Of Men Playing "Games"?‏

What does it mean when you meet a man and he flirts with you and you feel a great connection, but he never asks you out on a date?

What does it means when a man doesn't call whenhe says he will, or never contacts you again aftera particularly "intense" date?Do men just like to play games or is somethingelse going on here?

It COULD be that he's simply not available (andhe didn't want to volunteer that information to you)...

Or, it could be that a big part of why hewithdraws or acts like he's lost interest has less to do with "games" and much, much more to do with him feeling that he wasn't ATTRACTED to you in the way that keeps him pursuing you and wanting to spend time with you.

Sure, at first he was attracted by your looks, the conversation you had, or something along those lines. But he never developed EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.So how can you make sure to attract a man usingthe RIGHT triggers of emotional attraction instead of just "hoping" he'll stay interested?

Read about my Natural And Lasting Attraction program right here and find out:

Have you ever been with a guy where he was open and "real" with you sometimes... but other time she wasn't even himself and it was like he was playing "games" with you? Frustrating, right!?

And when the "games" pop up more and more...and the real "connections" happen less and less...don't you get tired of being the one to try and bring you closer or back together?

Why do some men seem to avoid or RESIST any kind of real, authentic emotional exchange? And how come men can seem more interested in playing out the selfish needs of their ego ratherthan becoming close with the woman in their life?

If you're like lots of women I've talked to and know, then you've felt this way or experienced this kind of thing before. What's going on here?

Let's get right to it and ask the simplestquestion - Why do we have to play "games" when it comes todating, love and relationships?

In response to the question, I'm going to give a two-part answer:

1) The "psychology" of what's going on here.

2) How to deal with the situation where you feel like a man is playing games, and others like it.THE PSYCHOLOGY Let me tell you a short story. The other day I was talking to a woman who was"dating" again after recently breaking up with her boyfriend.

She told me she was tired of the GAMES men play. This wasn't the first time I've heard a woman say this (I'm sure you've heard several women youknow say this).

After hearing this, I was curious to know about her experiences and how she saw her own love life,so I invited her to share more...

A few minutes later she was opening up about what happened in her last relationship and the one that ended similarly just before... and she shared in amazing detail a lot of the "why he did this"and "how he said that" information.

I could tell from her intensity that she had spent hours, maybe even days or weeks, piecing together all the aspects of the "games" men had played with her in her mind. (This intenseanalyzing might sound familiar to you, too.)

And I could also tell that she felt unwillingly pulled into "games" with men... even though she knew she was clear about what she wanted. She wanted to be past all this with men since she was past it all herself. And I could tell that she wanted to avoid the UNCERTAINTY and emotional frustration of being around a guy who wasn't completely AUTHENTIC.

She was tired of the games and felt like shewouldn't be able to take it if she put herself"out there" with a guy again, sharing her heart.

Give me a silent nod if any of this sounds familiar. To make a long story short... she explained alot about her love life, but there was something FASCINATING she was communicating that was moresignificant than what she was saying. Something UNSPOKEN.

She had developed a BELIEF that there wassomething wrong with men... and that men justweren't capable of being as, what you might say,"real" with a woman in a relationship. You probably have a friend or two who's thisway, so you know what I'm talking about.

They have this belief about men that is sodeeply rooted inside them, and the way they viewthe world, that they can't see it in themselves nomatter how you try to tell them.

And here's where I want to share somethingimportant that I started to realize several yearsago... something that has to do with humanbehavior and psychology in general. Lots of us have what I call our own"Subconscious Questions."

These are things in life we don't even realizethat we don't understand or are unclear about...and so we constantly run into situations where weare seeking answers on an subconscious level butour conscious minds aren't able to see the lessonsor hear the answers that could help us.

An example of one of these questions might be,"Why is the world so unfair or unbalanced when itcomes to money and material wealth?" And this is actually an important question toask yourself CONSCIOUSLY if you have anysignificant career or financial goals ahead ofyou.

But someone asking this "Subconscious Question"in their life might be likely to play out thisquestion in their mind by becoming angry orresentful of their boss or employer... even thoughthey chose to accept the job and the pay, andstopped looking for something better.

You get the idea. So how does this relate to men, dating andrelationships? Let's get back to the conversation I had withthe woman who was tired of games... and let's lookat her Subconscious Questions about men.

During our conversation, a few things becameclear and I started to see one of her SubconsciousQuestions - "Why do men have to play games?" Once I got to this question, everything I heardfrom her became crystal clear.

Each thing she said, even though it described adifferent event or situation in her past, wasreally still about trying to find an answer tothis same question. When she talked about the past, and about whatwent wrong, it was really all about this.

And when she thought about her future, and whatto do differently in her next relationship, hermind set was still all about her SubconsciousQuestion.

Of course, at other times she posed the same Subconscious Question, only in a slightly different way through what she said - "Are men even CAPABLE of being open and REALwith a woman in a relationship?" Or when she started talking and thinking aboutherself, the more personal version of the questioncame up - "Are men even CAPABLE of having an open, realand lasting relationship with ME?"

The point here is... the Subconscious Questionthat you ask can largely shape the way that yousee the world and respond to it. Like the old saying says, "If you're a hammer,everything is a nail." So what if you think that men play a lot ofgames?

Hmmm.... interesting. If you can start to become CONSCIOUS of theBELIEFS that you have... such as the ones thatoften are formed from NEGATIVE experiences in ourlives with people... then guess what? You have an opportunity to create CHANGE andGROWTH in your life. You can work with what you have control of inyour life... YOURSELF.

And you can start to feel more comfortable andconfident in letting go of what you can't control-other people... such as men who play "games." If you haven't already asked yourself in yourmind yet, I want you to do something right now... I want you to think about what YOUR Subconscious Questions might be at this momentwhen it comes to men, dating and relationships.

Start by reflecting on anything that you feelis unresolved or frustrating to you... Then try to picture the situation or person(man) who's related to these feelings. Put yourself in that situation right now andallow yourself to feel all those feelings. And now... if you had to boil what it is youare looking for or want to feel, experience orlearn down to ONE QUESTION - what would it be? I'll give you a minute. .. ..

Now, write down at least one of the Questions you came up with. I want you to keep this Questioning mind and turn it into a Conscious Question thatyou start to take hold of in your life. A great place to start identifying your own Questions... and putting together your own answerswhen it comes to men, dating and relationships is my "Inside The Mind Of A Man" program.

This program will not only shed light onwhether or not a man is actually playing "games" or not, but will help you identify the commonMYTHS about men in general that are forming a Subconscious Question or Statement in your mind each time you interact with a man.

For example, what if deep-down you tell yourself these things about men when you're in arelationship:-- Men are not trustworthy and will cheat.-- Men don't really want relationships, they just want to date endlessly.-- Men just want "easy" relationships with noresponsibility.-- Men are lazy and get bored easily when itcomes to dating.

Do you recognize a few of your own SubconsciousBeliefs from that list? You do? Hmmm.. not good. Once you start to see your own Questionsclearly EVERYTHING will quickly start to cometogether and you'll start to see the world andyour relationships with men in a brand new way. Not only will you "see" that you've been filtering all your experiences through beliefsthat were WRONG about men, but you'll see how yourbeliefs were actually changing your EXPERIENCE with men.

So save yourself TONS of time and energy thatcould be wasted NOT understanding what's going oninside the mind of a man... and help him have aneasier time hearing and understanding you. Order my "Inside The Mind Of A Man" programand start to CLEARLY see the truth about whetheror not men play games, or if it's a basic misunderstanding you have about men and theirpsychology. I promise you, you won't be disappointed with what you find out.

You can order your trial copy today and be benefiting from it in DAYS by going here: IT MEANS WHEN A MAN IS PLAYING GAMES Why do you think a man plays games with awoman? Does he do it because he's "messed up"? Does he do it because he's emotionallyincapable of doing otherwise? I want you to take a minute right now to tryseeing things from a new perspective... There's no such thing as "games."

Here's why... If you haven't realized it, or you just don'tbelieve it yet, "games" are a sign of INSECURITY. In other words, the behavior you see with gamesis most often a function of some kind of FEAR orlack of AWARENESS that the person playing thegames has.

For men these fears or insecurities mightinclude:

- Fear of Rejection (a man will keep from sharinghis feelings for a woman for fear that she willchange her mind about him once she finds out whohe really is)

- Fear of Insignificance (a man being afraid thata woman won't like him or wouldn't want to be withhim without the money, power or "success")

- Fear of Intimacy (a man being afraid of whatwill happen to him emotionally if he gets truly close to a woman and let's her get close to him)

Some of these fears are so intense inside men that they literally build their lives around ways to avoid these fears. What would you do if you had an intense fear like this that wouldn't go away? Right... you'd try to hide your fear or whatyou think you lack by OVERCOMPENSATING.

A man who fears rejection might never put himself in the position to be turned down by a woman by never being direct and upfront with her.

A man who fears that he's insignificant might try and make sure he had all the "success" and power BEFORE he ever thought to have any kind ofcommitted long term relationship with a woman. A man who is afraid of intimacy might become scared emotionally when he starts getting close toa woman and pull away, not because she's doingsomething "wrong"... but because the more open andloving and emotionally available she is to him,the more afraid he becomes of the emotionalconnection and ATTACHMENT.

With all this, there's a common mistake I seeTONS of women make when it comes to how theyrespond to men who play "games"... Lots of women become wrapped up in the gamesbecause they don't recognize these fears whichare being masked, and so they end up accidentallygiving the man a false sense of power. And this false sense of power usually has to dowith believing that the man is the only one whohas THE POWER TO CHOOSE whether a relationshipwill last or not.

Think about it for a second... When a man starts playing "games", do you everget so freaked out that you spend hours trying tofigure out why he's acting this way and what to doabout it? And do you ever find yourself trying to "coach"a man, or get him to see what he's doing and howit affects your relationship?

Here's why this is most often not only a wasteof your time and his... but why it's also oftenCOUNTERPRODUCTIVE (actually pushes you fartherapart instead of bringing you closer). When a man has a fear or an issue that is atthe cause of why he plays "games"... the way heacts and how his fears play out are mostly a"blind spot."

Like in your car's rear view mirror where another car can be right behind you in the otherlane and you look but you don't see a thing. Behavior that is driven by fear... or, for aman, more specifically his fears when it comes towomen and the subtle "power" they can hold in hislife... is usually in a man's blind spot.

So when you start to think about the games aman is playing, why he's doing it, and where itcomes from... and after spending lots of time on these thoughts, you arrive at your own still doesn't mean that the man is going to be able to hear you or understand what you see. It's still in his "blind spot" where hisconscious thought hasn't looked yet.

But lots of women are convinced that if they just spend enough time pointing out what they are able to see, that he'll be able to do what most people find difficult to begin with - to stepoutside themselves and see themselves as others see them. I don't have to tell you that this rarely works in relationships... unless you have a more conscious or evolved partner where you both communicate to each other on this kind of level already.

In fact, for most women, when they try to pullapart the games a man plays (get at his fears and try to help or dismantle them), or point out a man's blind spots... the result is the OPPOSITE ofwhat they're looking for. The man often shuts down, withdraws and becomesRESISTANT.

In other words, he becomes less open to hearing about himself and sharing with a woman. Now, is this how it is with all men when it comes to "games"? Don't some men play games on a more consciousand maybe even a "manipulative" level?

Of course some men do. But these men usually stand out very quickly. Women often intuitively know if a man is playing games for these kinds of reasons... or ifhe's a "Player." And a woman's friends are usually even quickerto point out a man who's in this place or acting this way.

Don't waste your time here... just call it like you see it and worry about what matters - staying in a healthy state of your own. You'll be amazedat how a man will respond when you're "grounded"and give him the space to look at his ownbehavior.GETTING RID OF THE "GAMES" IN YOUR LOVE LIFE

Right now it's time for you to continue yourpersonal growth... It's time to evolve in the areas of life whereyou can create positive GROWTH and awareness- Your RELATIONSHIPS. Of course, the most important relationshipyou'll ever have is with YOURSELF. Your relationship with yourself all comes downto your own level of CONSCIOUSNESS and AWARENESS.

We've just touched the surface of raising yourconsciousness around a small specific area - howmen play games and why they do it. If you keep the idea in your mind that it's notall about manipulation for a man, but aboutRESISTANCE that comes from his own FEAR... andrecognize that you have fears of your own thatfeed off of his... then you're going to be MUCHbetter off when it comes to creating and sharingthe experiences you want with him.

There is a way to create the kind of deep EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with a man that will let himknow he never has to play games with you.

And wouldn't it be great to get to that placewhere you knew, with CERTAINTY, that you couldbring out a more AUTHENTIC, AWARE, and EMOTIONALLYCONNECTED man... instead of accidentally feeding the common patterns of distance, withdrawal andmisunderstanding?

Then it's time to check out my new Natural &Lasting Attraction program. It holds the keys tocreating a connection with a man on both aphysical and emotional level that's so strong you'll no longer be the one trying to hold it alltogether in your relationship.

He will be there with you, making sure you arethere with him, so you can continue to share passion and chemistry in the future. you can have the same thing happen for you.

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