Thursday, November 20, 2008

What men want... Emotionally

This blog is going to be short and sweet, so here goes…

I am going to start out by saying that I am still old fashioned and believe in traditional roles. I believe that men were created to be leaders and to honor/respect their wife like the queen she is. I believe that as a person, we are both equal however when it comes to roles in life we are not.

Personally I think deep down most women want this as well, its just too hard to find a man to trust and let have that role these days therefore they are forced to turn into an "independent woman".

I can't tell you the number of times I have heard this from a single mom or a mom with a deadbeat husband:

"Every day, I make every decision in our entire family's life from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to bed. I carry the stress of providing for and taking care of our lives all day every day, I was not built for this. I need a man to take care of things, to carry that stress and I will support him. If I have to decide should I hold little Johnny back in 1st grade, how to discipline little susy, what 401k I should invest in, what kind of tires to buy, why the dryer is squeeking, what kind of house loan to pick one more time I am going to lose it. That's why when we are on a date, don't ask me anything, you decide everything and I will go along for the ride."

So, what do I want from a woman emotionally? I want to be all of those things above for her…

That's EXACTLY what I want.

I want to be a rock for her.
I want to be wise for her.
I want to be her confidant.
I want to be reliable for her.
I want to be strong for her.
I want to be accountable to her.
I want to be responsible for her.
I want her to bury her head in my chest and cry when she is overwhelmed.
I want to make her feel safe.
I want to make her feel like the most beautiful woman alive.
I want her to trust me with decisions for us and our family.
I want her to know that I was put on this earth to take care of her.
I want to provide for her.
I want her to think I hung the moon.
I want her to think I hung it for her.
I want her to think I am the funniest guy alive.
I want her to think I am the best chef.
I want her to think I am the best handyman around the house.
I want her to think I should be giving advice to Bill Gates about technology.
I want her to think I should be giving advice to Warren Buffet about investing money.
I want to overhear her telling her girlfriends how good I am in bed.
I want her to be crazy about me for all the right reasons.

I want her to make me feel like a King.
In return I want to make her feel like a Queen.

Those are just a few random thoughts, I can't speak for every man but the conversations I have had with men are always the same. We want to feel like a king, we want to have our ego's stroked by the significant woman in our life, we want to be that rock she needs. We want to be needed…

Below I will list a few things I want/need emotionally from my significant other, however I feel that MOST men share the same needs as I do.

I want someone who I can have candid, stimulating conversation with. I want no topic to be off limits and I want the kind of trust with each other that our deepest thoughts can be shared without having to worry about her getting upset or pissed off. I want her to know the thoughts that go on in my head and her in turn tell me what goes on inside that head of hers. I want to get a sitter, buy 2 bottles of wine, go sit on the front porch and talk and laugh until the wine is gone.

I never want to lose what we had when first met, the ability to talk about more than just what is going on every day in our life. A man can only take so much discussion about diapers, the kitchen, me forgetting to take out the trash and how low our checking account is. I MUST be able to discuss topics other than just daily small talk with her…

I love words of affirmation. I love hearing her tell me how crazy she is about me. I love hearing why she is crazy about me, these things make me stick out my chest and feel like a man.

This isn't emotional but its emotionally driven. I love physical touch/affection. I want to feel like she can't get enough of me. I want to feel like she cant keep her hands off of me. When she tells me about her day, I want her to sit on my lap and nuzzle her face into my chest and let me hold her like a baby. I want her to want to be physically close to me, I want her to need to be physically close to me.

I want her to adore me, literally. I want her to think I walk on water, of course my actions have to back that up, but if they do, begin adoring. I can assure you the woman I end up with will never question if I adore them, so please return the favor.

I want a companion in life, not just at home with the family. The first time I stand under the Eiffel Tower I want her there with me, the first boat ride I take in Venice I want her with me, the first time I take a safari in Africa I want her there with me. On a lighter note, I want her to be my companion when I want to watch a movie, when I want to try a new restaurant, when I want to go be lazy at the river all day or try to cook some new dish…..

I want someone I can talk to without fear of judgement or misunderstanding. I want the Sally Struthers commercial to come on TV and me be able to tell her that I don't care about the starving kids in Africa, we have bigger concerns right here in America and not have to explain why I am not a "bad person" for thinking that. Also it looks like Sally Struthers isn't hungry, maybe she should share that squeeze cheese with those kids, cause I know she has some in her purse.

I want someone who I can let my guard down around and her not lose faith in me. There are times when I do not know what to do, I want to be able to tell her that, or tell her I am overwhelmed with work or even her, and her just listen. I want her to walk away from that liking that I can let my guard down around her, not walking away thinking I am weak or having doubts.

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