Saturday, November 22, 2008

"What Is Fame?"

What Is Beautiful? - What Is Perfection? -
What Is Fame?

I'm partly popular for my blogs, my rants, my views on life, and my ability to make people think and see more than one side of life. I want to open the eyes of a blind world...

And I'm starting today...

I keep hearing about all these blogs talking smack about me, and people saying this or that. HOW DO I REACT? - I Smile!

Why? DO I CARE? - Hell NO!

People only talk crap about other people b/c they feel badly about themselves. They look in the mirror, and they see themselves for exactly what they are. They arent fooling ANY ONE!

I look in the mirror, and I see BEAUTY, I see confidence, I see happiness, and I see success...
I've learned to walk past my haters and smile, and It took a LONG TIME to get that trait under my belt. Everyone has this fake front on 24/7 and I've trained myself to get past that.


People compliment me on my beauty, my confidence, and my ability to embrace my flaws, but that's not always how I was. and I don't want people to think I am stuck up, or conceited in any way... BECAUSE I AM NOT AT ALL.... however, I am confident... and regardless to what people think or say, IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO GET THAT WAY... and I'm not going back..
PEOPLE SAY (Haters Say!)


I CANT SING! - But I'm working on an album with producers who've worked with AMAZING and VERY TALENTED Musicians like: Lady Gaga, Robyn, Selena Gomez, Corbin Bleu. And they found ME! - I'm popular b/c I have my own sound, and I'm starting a new TREND for what is hott and popular. And my haters are jealous b/c I've got it and they DONT!

I'M UGLY, I HAVE A BIG NOSE, I HAVE A BIG FOREHEAD! - If I was ugly, I dont think I'd have agencies, photographers, makeup artists, clothing designers, hair stylists, etc. etc. all over the world, blowing up my phone and email to work with me, and I dont think I'd have 80,000 AMAZING FANS, who love me for my beauty and confidence? MY NOSE IS MY TRADEMARK, ALONG WITH MY HAIR... I think the real story is they are jealous that their nose is soo NORMAL and mine is ORIGINAL! My forehead is PERFECT, which is why I show it in my new picture.. MORE FOREHEAD, gives you room for LONGER HAIR... so na na na na boo boo...

I'M A FAGGOT, MY STYLE IS STUPID! - this one goes back to the last one, ITS ALL ABOUT EMBRACING WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, and I am comfortable with my body and in my own skin, I dont care what you think of me, or what you think of my boyfriend. Or what I wear, dont be jealous b/c you dont have the confidence or security with your own body to wear what you REALLY want or be YOUR self... I do what I want, and I could give a flying SHIT less what other people think of it!
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OK I'M DONE WITH THE HATER SIDE OF THINGS... (they arent important at all!) just wanted you guys to see things how I felt about them, so you could understand...
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Now for the heartfelt, ultra revealing exclusive you all want to read about.
In highschool, I was super nerdy, no style, not very popular (hey lets be honest!) I didnt have that many friends, DIDNT CARE! didnt want any.. I did my own thing and stuck to myself. I had a few close friends. and I still have MOST OF THEM IN MY LIFE TODAY... I will always love them.
In life I have come to realize there are FAKE friends, and REAL friends, and I've finally gotten all the FAKE ones out of my life, (see my top friends!)
I moved to Texas with nothing, no REAL friends from home, just some clothes, WHY? to start over, to FIND MYSELF, find my carreer, and realize what I wanted out of life. I moved to Texas so I could GROW UP! and I think that I did that..
I found MYSELF, I bloomed like a flower, I taught myself to see the beauty in myself and every one around me, or to see the UGLINESS in people, and some of the closest people to me at the time were the UGLIEST!
What YOU guys see from the outside, versus what things look like on the inside, are two completely different stories..
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME? (lets break it down!)
1 - Famous2 - Pretty, Gorgeous, Stunning, Handsome, Flawless3 - Talented, Aspiring, Role Modelesque, etc.
and I guess where I am going with this, is for you guys to believe that I had to kinda re-model myself into that character. EXACTLY... I created a character, much like a movie character or anything else for that matter. I created a persona.
But that persona at first was SOMEONE I wanted to be like, (circa 2 years ago.) when I first created myspace, it was all about making myself look better than I really was. And making people believe I was extraordinary.. (but I didnt believe it myself!) I had horrible flaws, and my persona covered them up. I had bad self esteem, extremely insecure and no self confidence what so ever.
Granted at the time I created myspace, I considered a professional photoshoot to be a friend coming over to my house and taking pics of me... (I'VE MOVED ON TO STUDIO'S, PAYCHECKS, AND MAGAZINE AD'S NOW!)
Its a great feeling to look back at that sad miserable person, b/c I can see that I was basically in a cage, I knew what I wanted to be, but I didnt know how to ACHIEVE it.
What I am trying to get to is....OR MY POINT IS.......
DONT LET ANYONE EVER TELL YOU, YOU ARENT GOOD ENOUGH, OR THAT YOU CAN NOT SUCCEED.... DONT EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARENT PRETTY... or ARENT SMART.... or ARENT TALL ENOUGH.... THIN ENOUGH.... or even TALENTED ENOUGH to make your dreams a reality....
B/C I am here NOW standing before you, LIVING PROOF that you can do what EVER your mind can imagine....
IF YOU WANT TO BE A MODEL.... work on it, practice, take lots of pics, send them to agencies, do what you have to do to make your dreams a reality.. I went through HELL to get my face out in the world, and I still do.. I have more HATERS than anyone else on the internet.... and WHY? b/c they are fucking JEALOUS of me, its the truth... THEY ARE JEALOUS that they've tried to tear me down for 2 years.. and I've done more than ANY OF THEM EVER WILL IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE... in a simple 2 years of my life... and I've just BEGUN! Dont let ANYONE stop you from your dreams...
IF YOU WANT TO BE A SINGER.... then by all means take a laptop mic and jump in your bathroom and do it, garageband that shit, to get you started.. I can name about 20 people that started that way, who are MILLIONAIRES NOW! dont let anyone EVER stop you...
IF YOU WANT TO BE IN MOVIES.... make a youtube account and show people you have the talent....

THE POINT OF THIS BLOG IS..... people constantly ask me, HOW I DID THIS? or what got me started.... or blah blah blah... and the answer is simply:
DETERMINATION!
when you put your mind to something, they ONLY person that can hold you back is YOURSELF...
I MAY NOT BE WHAT EVERYONE SEE'S AS BEAUTIFUL.... but I know that every where I go, and when I sleep at night, I know I look good, and I dont lose a min or rest over it.
I KNOW PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST.... and I dont chase after it by any means... I see all these stupid PERFECTION GROUPS on myspace, and then I look at all their "MEMBERS" and I think to myself "How Pathetic" those people are, they are all photoshopped to hell, and probably have more insecurities than a chubby girl, in a bulimic clinic. I just wonder when they will WAKE UP and realize they arent perfect, and NO ONE thinks they are. All of those groups are filled with the most Insecure and Lonely kids on the internet. And they actually hate themselves so much that they do all that shit to themselves and their pictures to make people think they are better than they really are... TRUST ME, I'VE BEEN THERE...
Dont change yourself to match what the crowd thinks is beautiful... DEFINE IT YOURSELF!
AND THAT IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS!

I hope this actually helped some people... Or inspired someone... Otherwise, it was just a great venting journal entry for me... I just want to Inspire and Create in this world full of FAKE!

1 comment:

chubbybasas said...

"I hope this actually helped some people... Or inspired someone... Otherwise, it was just a great venting journal entry for me... I just want to Inspire and Create in this world full of FAKE!"

so you say...
there are three poems in your blog that states does not have the real author...
they are: "earth angel (to sam)," "night fall" and "my love, your angel(retribution)"

please...
the world IS full of fakes, and by those posts (poems) you are one of them...