Tuesday, May 6, 2008

"Getting Married"

Questions To Ask Before You Marry

There are more than seven questions to ask before you marry, however, these are very important points that every couple thinking of marriage should ask themselves.

You will want to make sure that you take marriage serious.

You don’t want to toss the dice and hope that it works out, but you will want to jump into marriage because you are fully aware of what it really is.

Marriage is a lot of work and you’ll be constantly working so that it ends up being filled with happiness. When you are in a marriage, you have to work hard everyday so that it will be something that you two can share the joy of.

1- What are you thinking?Maybe not in that sense, but you should think about what about marriage appeals to you. It may just be something that feels right to you. It is perfectly okay to admit that you see marriage has something that you feel obligated to do; however, it should not be an obligation to the person or the relationship. You should at least understand why you want to get married so that you don’t have to worry about waking up one day and realizing what you have gotten yourself really into.

2- What do you love about the other person?This question is very important so that you know what is motivating you to get married. You should also think about all the things that you don’t love about the mate. Can you live with all the bad habits of the person? You may want to make a pro and con list as to what you want from them through out the marriage and share it so that you can both walk into the marriage without the rose colored glasses.

3- Ask yourself: What type of future you want for yourself in the marriage?If you end up thinking that the marriage is a way for you to enjoy parties and be president of the PTA then you are not in the right mind to get married. You will want to see yourself as a wife, possibly a mother, and define yourself within the marriage. You should be able to identify yourself within the marriage and with out of the marriage. This is because you want to make sure that you are still an individual. You don’t have to worry about losing yourself in the marriage.

4- Ask yourself: Can you be in the marriage and love the person through richer or for good?Other than cheating, money is the only reason why a marriage falls apart. Even if it is the other person, there is money in the reason somewhere. This is where you should think hard about the negative aspects of a marriage. Would you still love him if he was broke? Would you still want to be married if you lived paycheck to paycheck? This is a tough question and your answer should be communicated to your partner. It is important that you keep them aware of all things with the marriage.

5- Ask both your partner and yourself: What kinds of roles each of you will play in the marriage.Does he’s idea of you as his wife clash with your idea of being a wife? When there is a clash, there is not mutual respect. If you don’t respect each other, then you may not be ready at this moment to make such an decision, however, if you talk to each other you will be able to solve all of your problems.

6- Ask yourself: What's your commitment level?Do you realize that this is a lifetime commitment that may have some ups and downs. You aren’t going to get a fairytale marriage, no matter how close the wedding come to being like a fairytale. Your happily ever after can only be from your own hard work and determination. Are you ready for the hard work?

7- Lastly, you have to ask yourself how you feel about the big change that is coming after reading this article?Are you still ready to get married or run for the hills? Marriage is scary and there are going to be times when you think you can’t do this, but if you take the time to talk things out with your mate you should be able to feel more comfortable about the change. You don’t want to talk yourself into marriage, but you should at least talk to your mate so that you can calm the jitters.Marriage is hard work and you’ll find it can be frustrating at times, but in the end, it’s worth everything that you put into it.

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