Friday, May 9, 2008

How To Lose A Great Guy's Interest‏

Are you an attractive, smart woman with a lot going for you, but you just don't "get" why menjust won't approach you or ask you out?

Or maybe you get asked out often, but it nevergoes further than a few dates before the guy kindajust drifts away - with NO good explanation?

There are a lot of reasons why a man will feel intimidated and put-off by a woman, even if she'sgot a lot of otherwise GREAT qualities.

I wouldn't want you to keep missing out on meetingand attracting an amazing man who could just turn out to be The One, just because of a few simple mistakes that you're making.

Read this letter about what it takes to meet the man of your dreams and what to DO and SAY to notonly spark his interest, but get him to ask you out again and again and want something "real" with you...

Is there a man in your life who you're just"friends" with right now, but you'd like to getcloser to?
Or maybe you keep meeting great guys but theynever ask you out?

In this email, I'm going to let you in on whatmen look for when first meeting a great woman, inorder to get interested enough to ask her out, andwhat is the absolute TURN OFF for a man when he first meets you.

And then later, I'll tell you the 3 traits that all men look for when "sizing a woman up" for a relationship or to ask her out.

But back to my questions about meeting greatmen and getting their interest...

If you're like lots of women I've met andtalked with, then just the idea of being upfront about how you feel or asking a man out makes your stomach knot up in fear. What if he rejects you? What if you embarrass yourself?

And besides, isn't a man supposed to approachYOU and make things happen if he feels something for you,too?

Well, there's something important I want you toremember that will help make you successful in almost any early dating situation with a man... whether you're just meeting, dating, or alreadycreating a connection with him.

There is something that women often forget about men, which is fascinating to me...

Which is that MOST men are just plain nervousor scared when it comes to approaching attractivewomen, talking to them, and asking them out.

I've seen it all my life. No matter where I goor who I'm with, most of the men around me are scared stiff of approaching women.

And sure, guys do their best to projectconfidence once they finally do build up thecourage to talk to a woman... that's part of thereason men often use some dumb "opener" or cutsiepick-up line that their friends told them works with women.

But trust me when I say that most men were bornnervous and afraid to approach women they're interested in.
You might not see it right now, but deep downmen see women as the ones with the "control" andthe "power" when it comes to dating situations.

Especially when it comes to meeting up and the "courtship" stage early on.

But lots of women don't really "get" this, orseem to forget it in the moment, when they meet a guy they're interested in, and so they end up giving away some of the advantages that other women - who know what's going on in these situations - naturally enjoy with men.

You've probably seen this with a girlfriend. Maybe she's always fun, cool, calm, and collectedwhen she's out with you or enjoying herself.
At least until "HE" walks into the room.

("He" is usually some guy she finds VERY ATTRACTIVE and would like to get to know better,but she doesn't know how to go about moving forward or connecting with him on a deeper level.)

So what does your girlfriend do when "he" shows up?

First off, she changes very quickly from thecool and socially intelligent woman you know intoan anxious, uncertain, and self-conscious MESS.

And then, like most women do in this situationwhen they feel a deep level of attraction for a man that they aren't close with yet, she instantlyassumes that the strong physical chemistry must be something that HE feels too.

And that's when things start to go wrong...

She starts to compliment him endlessly.

"Wow, you must be really smart to know that."

She laughs at everything he says (even whenthey're not that funny).

"Ha Ha! You are so funny!"
And she offers and tries to do "nice" thingsfor him to show how much she really cares abouthim and how she wants to see him again -

"Oh, that's too bad your car broke down. Maybe I could drive across town to pick you up and give you a ride tomorrow!?"

If you've ever watched one of your girlfriendsdo this kind of thing with a guy they just met, or if you've ever DONE THIS YOURSELF, then youprobably already know the frustration that comesfrom being sweet, complimentary, and "real" with aman, and then having it get you NOWHERE.

Or worse, having it lead to REJECTION where theman isn't interested in you at all.

And you might also add to that the pain ofwatching other women have MORE SUCCESS with menthan you do, while they DON'T do the generous things you do, and they don't have great conversations with men about real things in life,and they aren't the good person you are.

So, what's going on here?
Do men not like women who are "real"?

Why is it that being honest or complimentarywith a man doesn't make him "feel it" for you?

And why is it that men play "games" when itcomes to meeting, dating, and attraction?
Let me spell out a few common elements in playwhen it comes to men and dating:

1. A man won't like women JUST BECAUSE becauseshe's being "nice." Nice can be a "bonus", kind oflike toppings on a cake, but it's not the nice, sweet, and genuine behavior that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTION for a woman.

2. When you try to get a man's interest orattention by appealing to his personal interestslike a good friend would, he not only won't "feelit" for you, but he'll actually lose interest inyou when he sees you trying win his "approval." (Example: pretending to be interested in a sport he's really into)

3. Attraction isn't something that takes place ona logical or "rational" level. Casual conversationwon't create it. Instead, attraction is an EMOTIONthat has its own set of rules, and is something going on outside the everyday communication "channel" of words and meaning.

If you want to make a man notice you andexperience the feelings of desire and attractionthat will drive him to approach and "court" you,then you need to stop all the APPROVAL-SEEKINGbehaviors, and start learning how to create an EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE with him.

In my "Meeting The One" program I explainthe key strategies and specific

How-To's for what to SAY and DO when you first meet a man whoyou find attractive and want to get to know better.

And in case you haven't noticed, men aren'tnecessarily interested in MORE than a "fling", or a short-lived situation, when they first meet a woman.

That's because often a man's initial interestin a woman has everything to do with him feelingPHYSICALLY attracted to her.

In my "Meeting The One" CD/DVD program, you'lllearn how to make a man feel the kind of attraction that goes BEYOND "Physical Attraction", and you'll discover how to communicate with a man in a way that instantly lets him know that you'rethe kind of woman he wants to be with for MORE than just a fling.

All the details are here, and you can order acopy to try for 30 days before you pay a single dime. So there's no worries or obligation for you to order and check out at your convenience:

But let's keep learning...

I'd like to get back to the topic of "he", theguy that women become intensely attracted towithout having connected or talked much with, ifat all.

There's something fascinating I see happen whenwomen experience this kind of instant attraction for a man. They takes what could be a great relationship in the future and ruin it from the start.

When HE shows up, HE quickly becomes more of an IDEA than REAL. And this is wherewomen often go wrong in dating situations, andwith getting into relationships with men theydon't truly see and understand for who they are.

The woman will get very excited about the datesshe has with this guy she just met. She'll tell her friends about it, talk as if he was the man she'd been waiting for her whole life... while inreality she doesn't know him that much at all.

She'll start to act like they're already in a real, committed relationship, even though nothingof the sort has ever been discussed between them.In his mind, he's just getting to know her. In hermind, he's already her "boyfriend."

You know you're doing this when you've been seeing a man for a short time and:
-- He doesn't call when you expect him to or wanthim to, and you let him know you're disappointed. And he gets defensive or annoyed with you.-- You're already wondering if he's seeing anyoneelse and it bothers you.

-- You clear your weekend in hopes you'll spend it with him, even though he hasn't implied anything about that yet. And he doesn't automatically ask you out each weekend.
-- He's doing things with his friends or byhimself instead of automatically inviting you,and it hurts your feelings.

I call this the "Instant Relationship" syndrome,and it can be a real ATTRACTION KILLERfor a man when a woman gives out that vibe. He gets the feeling she's somehow needy or desperate,and it creeps him out.

The female equivalent of this is when a guy you just met pressures you to sleep with him on a first date, or when a guy you're not quite that"into" yet starts calling all the time, expectingyou to spend entire weekends with him, and getting jealous even though you aren't a real "item" yet.

That's the same kind of feeling that a man gets when you pull the "Instant Relationship - on him...that feeling of "Eeeewwww."

Sure, I understand that it's totally possibleto meet someone and this is NEVER an issue. Youmeet someone you totally connect with and you're both calling each other all the time and clearing your weekends for each other and thinking "relationship" very early on...

But here's the caveat: They already have to have a deep level ofATTRACTION for you. That makes all the difference.

Therefore, if you just met a man and you can sense that he's taking it "slow" getting to knowyou, don't pull the Instant Relationship on him. Just don't do it. Take your time getting to knowHIM, too.

You see, a man has to find a way to quickly know for CERTAIN when he meets you whether you are the kind of woman who will be a healthy addition to his life, or if you're going to be"trouble" in his world. So how does a man go aboutthis?

Does he just ask a woman, "Hey, are you healthyand in a good place? Because I want to make sure that you're going to bring mostly positive experiences and emotions to my life?"
Yeah, right.

Instead, a man is looking for direct andindirect signals to tell him what he needs to know about a woman before he even gets involvedwith her.

And in case you didn't know... men look for,find, and make meaning out of the signals theyget from women almost INSTANTLY.

If you've read the book "Blink" by MalcolmGladwell, then you know what I'm talking abouthere. In this book, the author talks about how we all make "snap-judgments" in order to size up the things in our environment.

If you want to understand how a man can become attracted to a woman, and how this can happen so quickly to where a man knows that a woman can be "The One" before he ever really talks to her, thenread some of the tips I put together in this link about my "Meeting The One" program.

You'll learn some important advice on what to do and say when you meet a man you want to have something "deeper" with:

So along these lines, let's look at a few ofthe things a man is looking for in a woman whenhe's making those subconscious instant judgements:

You know that men are often attracted to women of a certain physical size, shape, etc. in general. But do you know exactly why this is? It's not because these sizes and shapes "look better." It's because men are wired to identify signs of Fertility and Youth in women. And the good news here is that a perfect hip-to-waist ratio is NOTthe only way to indicate to a man that you are "Youthful" and "Fertile."
Personal "energy", attitude, body language, andfashion can all act as indirect indicators ofthese things as well.

It's no secret that men like to make fun of womenf or being too "emotional." And while this is often just teasing, this common male habit showsthe existence of something deeper - that among menthere is a strong belief in the importance of an emotionally-stable woman.
Men who are interested in relationships areEXTREMELY critical of how a woman handles herselfand her emotions, because to them it says everything about how a woman will be when they'reclose and connected and what's in store for him.

This is the most subtle determinant of how a manwill see a woman. When a woman is funny, laughing, or making jokes, it's an indication of her high level of self-esteem and social status.

When a man sees a woman smiling or laughing, orwhen a woman is funny and playful with a man, it lets him know on a subconscious level that she issomeone he can respect. An equal. And this can make a woman VERY desirable.

So I've given you a few specific tips andideas to think about and apply the next timeyou're going out.
And while these tips are valuable and effective, wouldn't it also be great to have the confidence that comes from KNOWING how and why aman will become attracted to you? And that it'snot just for all the wrong reasons!?
In my "Natural And Lasting Attraction" program I go into depth about the exact strategies to help you do exactly this. These tips and specificshave already helped literally thousands of other women who have gotten this program with this challenging situation.
If you want to learn exactly what to do whenyou're attracted to a man, but you can't seem tomake that "connection," then I recommend you checkout this link and read about this program.

All the details are here:

If you're ready for the next level of learning,connection, and attraction (the kind that leadsto a lasting and committed relationship) then my"Natural & Lasting Attraction" CD/DVD program iswhat you need to get started.

It's literally jam-packed with eye openinginsights, ideas, and specific "How-To's" that willchange the way men feel when they are around you FOREVER.

What if you knew you could build and keep alivethe kind of attraction that would make a man know, on a DEEP EMOTIONAL LEVEL, that you were the one for him?

Would that kind of connection, and theCERTAINTY it would create in your relationshipwith a man, be valuable to you?

Then you've got to check out this program.

There are several hours of this programdedicated to the idea of eliminating the fears andinsecurities that lead to the common "negativeattraction strategies" most women fall into withmen.
A few of these are:

- Convincing: Trying to CONVINCE a man that love and a relationship is what he should want
- Bribing: Trying to make a man feel something for you by doing things for him or getting him things
- "Free Sex": Sleeping with a man because youthink that he'll be closer and more intimate withyou afterwards (but nothing changes and heactually pulls away after)

Don't get stuck in these dead-end strategieswhen there is a way that works much, much better.

It's time to get rid of these weak, fear-basedstrategies with men, and start communicating asthe attractive and loving woman you can be.

And if you're not sure if this program is foryou... I'll make you a special offer.

If you go to the link below, you can not onlycheck out video samples of this program for free,but I'll also send you a copy of this program foryou to try and work with free for a full month.

And I ask nothing in return, other than yougive yourself a chance to learn, grow, and startexperiencing more success with the material in the program.
I know you won't regret it.

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