10 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach
Though we often seek advice from others, many spiritual traditions teach that the answer lies within. In this gallery, Victoria Moran, inspirational speaker, spiritual life coach, and author, offers us the top 10 questions she asks her coaching clients.
By asking them of yourself, they can help you gain clarity in almost any situation. Just pick a challenge you're dealing with, and apply one or more of the following questions. Then, be willing to act on what your inner wisdom reveals.
Is This Good For Me?
While such processes have a place, you can simplify things by asking yourself if this is genuinely good for you--physically, mentally, and spiritually, today and next week and in 10 years. Because your inner being looks after your true interests--not just your ego cravings--you'll get the guidance you're looking for.
What Does My Body Have to Say About This?
Every cell comes equipped with awareness. Your body has something in the neighborhood of 40 trillion cells--quite a consulting committee. Call on it when you're confused or undecided. Relax quietly and ask your body what it has to say. Then note any sensations. Around your heart, are you picking up excitement that says "Yes!" even if there's also a little anxiety about doing something new? Or in your belly, are you feeling dread, a "gut reaction" telling you to take another path?
What Are My Values?
My husband was working with this question and announced, "My values spell ditch: discretion, integrity, tolerance, civility, humility." He was so pleased with his discovery that he had a bracelet made with his values engraved on it. You may want to do something similar, but as long as your values are engraved on your psyche and acted on in your life, that's enough.
What Would Jesus (Buddha, Sai Baba, My Grandmother) Do?
Your questioning on paper can become a fascinating conversation that yields surprising insights. And it gives the phrase "friends in high places" a whole new meaning.
What Am I Not Seeing?
Let's say you're feeling uncomfortable in your job for no apparent reason. If you were to see just a bit more of the picture, you might learn (or remember) that the problem is not the role per se, it's that it isn't using a talent you're yearning to express. Once you see that, you can take appropriate action.
What Really Matters Here?
Whether it's prioritizing your to-do list or figuring out which demands you can tend to today and which ones will wait, you need to ask yourself what really matters. Generally speaking, things with feelings--i.e., living beings, particularly those closest to you--will take precedence. No matter the answer, you'll learn what's of greatest consequence to you in this instance.
Where Should I Act and Where Should I Step Back?
When you ask yourself, quietly and confidently, what your part is in a given situation, and where to wait (or exit entirely), you'll get a clear idea of your role. If you ask the question and still want to act against the advice of your internal coach, remind yourself that, although life is a series of little dramas, none of them needs a drama queen (or king).
What Would Make Me Genuinely Happy?
And cast a wide net. You may have "taking a cruise" on your list, but if you also remember that "hanging out at the library" and "playing with my dog" are eudemonic for you, you get to be happy every day--and that's important. What would make you happy now (that wouldn't make you unhappy later)? Do that.
What is the Divine Intention for My Life Today?
One of my mentors says, "I don't always do God's will, but I always want to." It's a great place to start. So ask the question. Its answer might be the only one you'll ever need.
Who Has Some Guidance for Me Right Now?
You may see a face or hear a name immediately, or you may be led down a thought-trail to a person. Use your rational mind to weigh the answer. If, for instance, you have a marital issue and the name of your 10-year-old comes up, this doesn't mean discuss your marriage with your child. It may, however, mean to put the child first as you work through things.
What is the Divine Intention for My Life Today?
One of my mentors says, "I don't always do God's will, but I always want to." It's a great place to start. So ask the question. Its answer might be the only one you'll ever need.
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