10 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach

Though we often seek advice from others, many spiritual traditions teach that the answer lies within. In this gallery, Victoria Moran, inspirational speaker, spiritual life coach, and author, offers us the top 10 questions she asks her coaching clients.

By asking them of yourself, they can help you gain clarity in almost any situation. Just pick a challenge you're dealing with, and apply one or more of the following questions. Then, be willing to act on what your inner wisdom reveals.

Is This Good For Me?

This question needs to underlie every personal decision--from how to respond to a job offer or what to chose from a menu. So many of our choices are either snap decisions or belabored: We ask a friend (and another and another), make a pros and cons list, throw the "I Ching."

While such processes have a place, you can simplify things by asking yourself if this is genuinely good for you--physically, mentally, and spiritually, today and next week and in 10 years. Because your inner being looks after your true interests--not just your ego cravings--you'll get the guidance you're looking for.

What Does My Body Have to Say About This?

Our culture has long mistrusted the body. It's been seen as a confusing blend of God's handiwork and the devil's playground. It is, rather, a vortex of intelligence.

Every cell comes equipped with awareness. Your body has something in the neighborhood of 40 trillion cells--quite a consulting committee. Call on it when you're confused or undecided. Relax quietly and ask your body what it has to say. Then note any sensations. Around your heart, are you picking up excitement that says "Yes!" even if there's also a little anxiety about doing something new? Or in your belly, are you feeling dread, a "gut reaction" telling you to take another path?

What Are My Values?

This is an important question to ask yourself periodically--on your birthday perhaps, or at the New Year. It's both liberating and motivating to be so well acquainted with your values that you could recite them on demand.

My husband was working with this question and announced, "My values spell ditch: discretion, integrity, tolerance, civility, humility." He was so pleased with his discovery that he had a bracelet made with his values engraved on it. You may want to do something similar, but as long as your values are engraved on your psyche and acted on in your life, that's enough.

What Would Jesus (Buddha, Sai Baba, My Grandmother) Do?

Thinking of a role model, whether a great spiritual teacher or a sweet spiritual person, is like having a mentor on-call. Ask yourself what this person would do in your situation. A technique for tapping their wisdom is to write out the question and the answer. This doesn't mean that you're channeling a spirit or writing a new gospel: you're simply tapping into the wisdom that knowing this person (or knowing of this person) has given you.

Your questioning on paper can become a fascinating conversation that yields surprising insights. And it gives the phrase "friends in high places" a whole new meaning.

What Am I Not Seeing?

We all live with blinders on. They come with having a personal vantage point. And yet the answer to a dilemma may lie in seeing just another millimeter of the situation. Ask, then, "What am I not seeing here?" Often, what we're not seeing is what we don't want to see.

Let's say you're feeling uncomfortable in your job for no apparent reason. If you were to see just a bit more of the picture, you might learn (or remember) that the problem is not the role per se, it's that it isn't using a talent you're yearning to express. Once you see that, you can take appropriate action.

What Really Matters Here?

In his classic of the spiritual life, "At the Feet of the Master," Krishnamurti writes that as we grow spiritually, it is essential to discern not just right from wrong, but more important from less important.

Whether it's prioritizing your to-do list or figuring out which demands you can tend to today and which ones will wait, you need to ask yourself what really matters. Generally speaking, things with feelings--i.e., living beings, particularly those closest to you--will take precedence. No matter the answer, you'll learn what's of greatest consequence to you in this instance.

Where Should I Act and Where Should I Step Back?

Ask this to get a sense of what is yours to do and what isn't. This is the advanced class in enlightened living. Countless times we've all acted too soon or without sufficient information, or we've stepped in where our input wasn't needed and muddied circumstances that were already working themselves out.

When you ask yourself, quietly and confidently, what your part is in a given situation, and where to wait (or exit entirely), you'll get a clear idea of your role. If you ask the question and still want to act against the advice of your internal coach, remind yourself that, although life is a series of little dramas, none of them needs a drama queen (or king).

What Would Make Me Genuinely Happy?

"Eudemonic" is a little-used word that means "happy-making." What are all the eudemonic activities you can think of? Make a list. How many of these happy-makers did you do yesterday, last week, this year? Which ones can you indulge in today? When you're facing a challenge, ask what would make you happy in this situation.

And cast a wide net. You may have "taking a cruise" on your list, but if you also remember that "hanging out at the library" and "playing with my dog" are eudemonic for you, you get to be happy every day--and that's important. What would make you happy now (that wouldn't make you unhappy later)? Do that.

What is the Divine Intention for My Life Today?

As football has a Super Bowl, life has a Super Question, and this is it, asking the will of God, or the way of Tao, etc. Your request is to know how your day can be in keeping with divine design. You can go off in a different direction--we do it all the time and learn the lessons of the detour. Nevertheless, when you ask this and even attempt to follow through on the answer, you're taking the high road.

One of my mentors says, "I don't always do God's will, but I always want to." It's a great place to start. So ask the question. Its answer might be the only one you'll ever need.

Who Has Some Guidance for Me Right Now?

When you need help from another person, trust your inner knowing to tell who this is. Sit and do some slow, deep breathing for two or three minutes to go into a state of receptivity. Then ask, "Who has the right guidance for me?"

You may see a face or hear a name immediately, or you may be led down a thought-trail to a person. Use your rational mind to weigh the answer. If, for instance, you have a marital issue and the name of your 10-year-old comes up, this doesn't mean discuss your marriage with your child. It may, however, mean to put the child first as you work through things.

What is the Divine Intention for My Life Today?

As football has a Super Bowl, life has a Super Question, and this is it, asking the will of God, or the way of Tao, etc. Your request is to know how your day can be in keeping with divine design. You can go off in a different direction--we do it all the time and learn the lessons of the detour. Nevertheless, when you ask this and even attempt to follow through on the answer, you're taking the high road.

One of my mentors says, "I don't always do God's will, but I always want to." It's a great place to start. So ask the question. Its answer might be the only one you'll ever need.