I hope that if you are reading this that you believe in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. If you don't, I hope that you will continue reading this and open up your heart to receive what I'm trying to get across to you in LOVE!
WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP??? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP??? DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO BRING TO THE RELATIONSHIP???
These are questions that you should ask yourself…and why is it that when people disappoint us in a relationship we blame them for it failing instead of taking the responsibility for our own short comings?
Men, you have a certain woman that you are looking for to fulfill your dreams and your desires. You say that you want a woman who can cook; you say that you want a woman who keeps a clean house; you say that you want a woman who doesn't nag you about every little thing that you don’t do and that you need her to understand you as a man; you say that you want a woman who is strong and independent and who is not materialistic; you say that you want a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets; and you say that you want someone who is beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside. But, yet, you don't cook and all you consume are alcoholic beverages on a regular basis; you haven't cleaned your toilet since you moved into your place; you like to argue and point out others faults and when it comes to understanding a woman, you would rather get out of her presence and sit in front of the computer or the TV than to listen to how her day went at work; and please don’t let a woman come to you and try telling you that her feelings were hurt by something you did or said because you take it as a personal attack rather than a way to apologize and to let her know that what you did or said was not intentional; you are in debt and you never have any money to take a female out (more than once) but some how you’ve mustered up enough money to buy a flat screen TV, an Xbox 360, or rims for your car; you too are a prostitute and even a whore (even though you only refer to women as such) because you frequent the clubs and crawl into bed with just about every woman that you come in contact with knowing that it probably won’t lead to anything more than casual sex (and you have the nerve not to use condoms and that is why the STD epidemic is so out of control); you could stand to lose a couple of pounds and workout a little; you are mean and can say some of the nastiest things to a woman and then you justify what you say by beseeching that you're just one of those people who speak their minds. When in all truth, you are a control freak who wants to have his way and you think that you are the only one who is doing any and everything right, you're not willing to compromise on anything and you have the attitude that it's your way or the highway. It's especially sad, men, when you are this way but then you don't even realize that you make a woman miserable when she comes around you and maybe this is the very reason why you can’t “KEEP” a "GOOD WOMAN". Most of the women that you come in contact with are good women, but because you insist on having your way, you terminate the fellowship and don't give the friendship enough time to cultivate. Hey, I'm just saying that before you start putting your demands on a female make sure that you are the IMAGE of what it is that you are looking for in a woman.
Women, you have a certain man that you are looking for to fulfill your dreams and your desires. You say that you want a man who can make love to your mind, body, and soul; you say that you want a Godly man who will lead your household and be the man of God that he is supposed to be; you say that you want a man who can provide for you and buy you nice things; you say that you want a tall dark and handsome man. But, yet, you go everywhere with a frown on your face like you've lost your best friend and you turn your nose up at a man when he approaches you when he may just simply want to say hi (not every man just wants to sleep with you); you continuously say that there aren’t any good men but when you have a good man, you’re constantly reminding him of what he’s not doing rather than build him up and encourage him to keep doing the right thing, and if he makes a mistake, you’re right there telling him “I told you so!” (sometimes a simple “I’m sorry you had to go through that” goes a lot further than if you try to convince him of how right you were in the first place); you say that you want a man to understand you but when he tries to it turns into an argument - (do you even understand what it is that you are feeling? Woman, you can be so confusing at certain times of the month so be mindful of how you treat people around that time because you are still responsible for your actions…when you get to heaven God isn’t going to excuse you for that reason if you continuously mistreat others around that time of the month); then, you push a man away when you’re upset and then accuse him of not being there for you; you say that you go to church but you open your legs to every man that comes along and then when the man doesn't call you, email you , text you, and even doesn’t want to see you anymore you think that he's a dog or a loser, but he never said that he wanted to be with you in the first place, he just took what you were willing to give (stop prostituting yourself); you are more concerned with material things and what you can get out of a man than with how you can bless him with a gift from your own money and from your heart without expecting anything in return (and I’m sorry but this goes for men as well); and you could stand to lose a few pounds and quit eating every thing in sight and complain because you can't fit the clothes that you already have in your closet. Don't complain about what you can change. Hey, I'm just saying that before you start putting your demands on a male make sure that what you want is exactly what you're willing to give and that you are willing to be what you expect.
The only reason I’m bringing up these things is for healing to take place in your lives! But what I’m really attempting to convey to you is that you fight over some of the most foolish things and then you don’t know how to work things out because you find it very difficult to forgive people for disappointing you…you should be more mature by now and expect that people WILL disappoint you at some point but you must give them the benefit of the doubt and trust that they didn’t do it to make you upset. Some of us are too sensitive and we wear our feelings on our sleeve instead of just letting some things go. Now, I won’t condone blatant abuse, in either physical, mental, or spiritual form. If being in a situation causes you these types of pain on a regular basis, run as far and as quick from the situation as you can. And if you can’t recognize it, talk to someone and let them know what is going on.
People, there are a lot of good men and women in the world, but in order for you to recognize them, you must be a "GOOD PERSON" yourself. If you are angered by what you just read, then you have some hang-ups, issues, unresolved anger, hate, rage, bitterness, selfishness, and mess from your past that you have not dealt with and probably don't think that you need to...instead, you go from relationship to relationship with this heavy baggage and you end up hurting people because you are a hurt and bruised soul. You don’t know how to love people and you don’t know how to be self-less. You are only concerned about YOU!!! You can’t even have decent friendships because you are so interested in what you can get out of it rather than what you can give. Oh, but most of you don’t even know what it means to give of yourself. You have never seen it demonstrated because we are a people of habit. Well, now is the time to stop blaming others for where you’re at in your life, and for what or who you don’t have, and for not loving you the way you think you deserve to be loved or want to be loved…why don’t you shed some love first and stop being afraid that you’ll get hurt or that you’ll be rejected…the truth is, you probably will be hurt or rejected but it’s only because there are so many wounded people in the world…It has to start with somebody, somewhere, sometime!
A “good person” does not operate under the pretense that he or she is God's gift to the world. A "GOOD PERSON" displays the very attributes that God exhibits Himself and these attributes are called the “FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT”. God has told us what those good and Godly traits are in his Word. Galatians chapter 5 verses 6-26, clearly reveals to us what the characteristics of being Godly or good are. I have copied these verses for you from the “Message” Bible…I chose this translation because I didn’t feel that the King James would impact you. While I was reading these verses from the Message bible, I was blown away at how the creator of this translation, Eugene H. Peterson, was able to convey the attributes of God so that we could fully understand what God was trying to communicate to us through the Apostle Paul. I would also suggest that you take some time and go to your bible and look this up for yourself. The Message Bible will bring your King James Bible to life:
6 -18My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? ....
19 -21It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.....
22 -23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. ....
23 -24Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified. ....
25 -26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.
WASN’T THAT AWESOME!!! AND THE BEST PART OF IT IS: YOU can be Godly because God did not intend for any human being to be miserable, sad, down and out, broke-busted-and disgusted, nor did He want us NOT to be able to live with each other in peace. He even wants us to enjoy material things as long as the love of things don’t replace or come before the love and the interests of others.
So, to sum this up, I will list the attributes that each of us should be mindful of exhibiting. If we don’t do it first, then no one will…then we pass this same behavior on to our children, friends, relatives, and strangers. If you want a “GOOD MAN/WOMAN” then take a look inside yourself and begin to allow the Holy Spirit to fill you up with His love and bless you to be able to pass it on…We need to stop waiting for someone else to do it when we should be the example that God intended for us to be…this is part of our purpose while here on earth. Please love yourselves and others enough to let the pain from broken relationships go and then allow healing to flow through you! I am choosing to do it first, won’t you follow???
FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT:
- UNSELFISH LOVE
- TRUE JOY
- LASTING PEACE
- SELF CONTROL