Friday, January 30, 2009

"What Women Want All Men To Know!"

."Women Want Words".

You guys might want to note that his blog readers are mostly hot women. He might just have a point, huh?
Since a few of you have asked recently when I'm gonna do another "advice" type blog, I thought I'd expound on that thought some and post a few other things that women wish men knew:

*She will eventually leave if you lie.
(Misrepresenting what you want from a relationship or from her constitutes a "lie".) Telling her that she's pretty when she looks like shit from the flu does NOT fall under the category of "lie".

*We are as obsessed with our beauty as you are your penises. We get the same charge from hearing "you are beautiful" that you get from hearing that you have a beast behind your zipper. It doesn't ever get old, and you'll want to hear it over and over, right? So do we. It doesn't matter if we KNOW we're beautiful... we want to know that YOU think we are.

*Our necks are errogoneous zones. Seriously. You can get her panties to drop if you know how to treat her neck. Remember guys, unless she's specifically told you it's something she likes... not wet above the neck. Keep your tongue to yourself.
One of the sexiest things in the WORLD is when a man leans in from behind you to whisper something near your ear. This can make her think about you in a sexual way if she never has before.

*She is going to freak out and imagine that she's pregnant a day or two before every period, whether she has any rational reason to believe it or not. This would not be a good time to berate her for forgetting to take her pills.

*she is scared of losing her independance, and she is scared of becoming her mother (no matter how cool her mother is).

*PMS does not make women bitchy, it lowers their tolerance for bullshit. Big difference. Women let lots of stuff go for 25 days out of the month...for 5 days they don't have the patience to do so. Be grateful for the 25... and endure the rest with good attitude.

*She forgives you more than she should and more than you probably deserve.

*Sex does not wipe the slate clean. If you did something stupid and you have great sex... you think it's all better. It's not. The only things that will permanently put the issue to rest? Either talking it through, or buying her a gift that expresses her importance to you.

*Women don't just want to know that you care ... they NEED to know.
Women need to feel beautiful, they need good sex, and they need to know that you value them in some way.

Most women don't stray from relationships just because they want laid, they do it because they need to feel beautiful, sexy and appreciated (and they probably aren't getting that at home).

*If she doesn't want sex with you it's because a)she doesn't feel sexy... could be anything from premenstrual bloat to having caught an unflattering reflection in a three way mirror. b)she's not feeling connected to you c)she is manipulating you to get what she wants from you.

*Shoes usually determine whether or not you're fasionable.

*She expects you to call. Women judge your interest in them by how much effort you put into contacting her. If you're honestly too busy for a short conversation, text, or email... TELL her so (and when you're likely to resurface again)... if you don't, she will assume that you are just not that into her.

*If you've ever wondered what to say when she expresses disgust at her appearance, asks you how an outfit looks, or compares herself unfavorably to other women, "you are beautiful" is NEVER a wrong answer (even if she rolls her eyes when she hears it).

*We mull things over. If you do something that disturbs us, we may not tell you about it right away. We think it over first. Sometimes for days. If you've done something thoughtless and stupid and she doesn't chew you out over it first still doesn't mean you're off the hook.
Women will find out 5 minutes into a first date that their date is wildly unacceptable, yet most will smile and continue on with the date as though nothing is wrong...only to then drop off the face of the planet.

*Asses are important to women. If you have a great one... display it to full advantage. We love it when you walk around the house naked, or in snug fitting jockeys ;)

*Don't ever tell us what to do.

*Don't ever treat us as though you own us.

*Our nipples aren't knobs or handles, don't treat them as either.

*If you're having sex on a regular basis, and you want it to continue, ask her to spend the night.

*If she's spent the night, you are obligated to feed her breakfast.

*If a woman touches you, she's probably attracted. We don't touch men we aren't attracted to on some level.

*If she's attracted, and you ask her out directly, she'll probably say "yes".

*We want men to take the lead.

*We are impressed when you ask us advice, confide in us... or trust us with your secrets and dreams.

*Women are expressive. We have to tell you stuff if we feel it. It's in our nature. If you show a woman that you don't hear her, you show her that you don't care about her. Listen. Even if you have to fake it.

*If she's smiling, she's happy. Remember what caused the smile and do it again at every opportunity.

*Whether she's a platonic friend, a friend with benefits, a wife or a third date...she needs to know what you are thinking and/or feeling about her.

*when it doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

*women get urinary tract and yeast infections very easily. Wash your hands before you touch her.

*and while you're at it, clip your nails. You may well think you're putting a woman into the throes of ecstacy when you're really clawing her to bits with a sharp nail shard or a rogue hangnail. It's a delicate area...please be careful.

*Amaze her.
foreplay begins before the clothes come off for a woman, hopefully you know that already... but it's not so much about the act itself as it is the man. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, she's there because she sees something unique and wonderful about you. FOrget what you've been learning about sexual technique. Talk to her... let her know you, let her know that you want to know her in return. THAT is what leads to phenomenal sex.

*You might have heard that women want to be treated as equals. That's not true. Women want to be treated as equals in the boardroom and on the pay scale, with a man , they want to be treated like women.

*some women say that they want a sensitive man. They do not. If you cry in front of her or fall apart she will lose respect for you. She wants a MAN... but a man who listens to her. If she wanted to be with a girl, she'd be with a girl.

*I'll say it again (it counts at least twice) women want you to share parts of you with them. TALK. They want you to want to know who they are, so LISTEN.

*women remember everything about your relationship.

*Most women would rather have you break up with them than string them along when you don't want to be there and/or have you cheat on them.

*Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public places.

*We love clean sweat. You are sexy as hell when you've just come from the gym or mowing the lawn. Stale sweat? YUCK!

*women cannot resist a man who is holding a baby, or baby talking to a dog.

*we think you are extraordinarily sexy when you are concentrating... especially when you are fixing something appropriately manly :)

*always greet her with kisses

*If you have to ask yourself if it's cheating, it IS.

*Don't wait until the next day to return her messages... we're back to that thing where she judges her importance to you by how you stay in contact with her.
That doesn't mean that you have to drop everything when she calls... she's busy, too... she just needs to know that she matters to you.

*If the only time you kiss her or show her physical affection is during foreplay, she'll soon start to feel like it's all about sex and resent it when you want to play. Give her kisses and touches for no reason, with no strings attached. Hold her hand, stroke her hair. This reassures a woman that you appreciate more of her than just the wet parts ;)

*We love it when you dance with us in the living room.

*we love sex every bit as much as you do, but we need to feel connected to you first.

Ladies , feel free to add to the list as you please.

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