Friday, May 2, 2008

"Forgive but not Forget"

About Love - Forgiving

What do we do when we hold grudges in our hearts which we feel badly about? How can we allow anyone to love us if we do not love ourselves? Love has many pitfalls and it is necessary for us to find peace within our hearts and to find love for ourselves before we can love anyone else or feel secure regarding the love of others have for us.

When we hold bitterness in our hearts for which we feel ashamed, anger, pain, resentment or any other negative feelings we find it difficult to love ourselves. Indeed, many of us come to hate ourselves with a passion and we may set about to destroy ourselves either deliberately or through neglect or by sub-conscious self-sabotage.

We may feel great despair that no one should love us because of the dark issues in our hearts, and we will very often convince ourselves that no one can ever truly love us because of our poor regards for ourselves. In this state, because we feel we are unlovable we will tend to perceive that the love of others have for oneself as selfish and riddled with ulterior motives even if that love is pure and selfless; in this manner we spoil the gift of love that others may try to share with us thereby doing both to oneself and those who love us results to a great injustice.

While many of us do not reach such extremes and deliberately self destructive state in regarding to oneself, the dark places in our hearts, most of us are afflicted by some bitterness & hatred in our hearts and we sub-consciously undermine our lives with our efforts to punish ourselves for whatever pain & grief we keep deep in our hearts.

That part of our lives which receives the most damage from oneself loathing and sabotaging our relationships with people we love most or desire. We must find it within our capacity to forgive ourselves for anything that had occur or experienced to leave pain & anger we feel deep inside us.Forgiving oneself or letting go the pain will help us recover & ease the pain.

Forgiving others is like seeking to be forgiven, it is not necessary to seek out those whom you wish to forgive. However, if an opportunity arises to speak kind words of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you then you should take that moment as a golden opportunity to help yourself and to help that other person so that you may both heal and become happier human beings.

It is always a good idea to act in that moment and to immediately create new healing. Forgiveness is a wonderful blessing. It can be easy to give and yet it enriches our lives immensely. However, when we find it difficult to forgive oneself or anyone else then the sores in our hearts can fester and these sores will slowly poison us day by day making our lives darker and leading us into greater misery, pain and despair all of which may often be unnecessary.

We should search forgiveness within ourselves so we can see that what we had been through had taught us something good.Forgiving oneself will make us easier to move on & get back on the track.But if we choose to neglect the roots of our pain and the miseries,we will be unable to address the issues in our lives which linger on the unresolved, and which will then continue to harm us.

"Forgiveness is all about love...I know that forgiving is easily said but cannot be easily done."But always try to find the good part of it & use what you have learned from each pain you had experienced that can contribute in making you a better person.Forgiveness is setting yourself free from pain."

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