I've been teaching men how to become moresuccessful with women and dating for several yearsnow... and one "problem scenario" just keepscoming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER and OVER andOVER again......and it really amazes me.I'm going to refer to it as "The Genius FailureParadox".
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendencyfor UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOWlevels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox,discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.I assume that if you've read this far, then you probably see yourself as smarter than the average guy.You know that you're a little different than other guys.You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently and thought differently than others in school...And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life:YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.Smart people get used to being "right" because they usually ARE right.And when you're RIGHT more often than others,you can get ahead in many situations. But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours canactually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to akey area of life:WOMEN AND DATING.By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you'll most likely make the situation WORSE.Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success...But trust me, this is one of those situations.So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT.I mentioned that smart guys are used to beingRIGHT in most situations.And what do most smart guys do when they comeacross a situation where they're WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fitstheir strength. They know they'll be right nexttime, so they just walk away... knowing that itwon't be long before they're right again.(OR they let the "problem situation" destroythem... more on that later.)Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comesto women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN ANDHIDE.
There's no quick "I'm right" around the nextcorner to make you feel better.It only takes "failing" with a few women in arow for a smart guy to see the pattern... andrealize that something isn't working.Solution? Think harder.A smart guy just assumes that his logic must begood... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts tobecome mentally difficult.Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hardthing for a "smart guy" to do.Accepting that you're not only wrong, but youhave NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even moredifficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with thefollowing logical conclusion:
I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUTHOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THENTHE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT.In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an "obviously less intelligent person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be theguy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals...
But now let me ask you:If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smartor smarter than them.Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined closely.If you've been making this mistake, then youneed to STOP IT.
Stop being an arrogant bastard,and open your eyes.Look around.Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let themteach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS.It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don't GET IT when it comes to basicsocial skills.It's as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would take to learn them.In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don'teven have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that people like" in their MENTAL MODEL of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.Social skills are just that... SKILLS.They're not social INFORMATION.They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.And you don't get them by THINKING about them.You get them by GETTING them.Excellent social skills are the foundation forgood communication with other humans... and if youdon't have good social skills, you dramaticallylower your chances for success with women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT.
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me...They come up with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.They actually figure out why what it is that they would like to do will probably fail...They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, itmakes sense to not do it, right?I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?It is sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking whenit comes to the REAL WORLD... and success withwomen.Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, andthey don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to besuccessful with women, they are working with bad figures.
They're wrong before they even startfiguring!Using your mind to come up with all the reasonswhy things won't work in this area of your lifeleads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.You must learn to overcome this habit if youhave it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONALSOLUTIONS"What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve theproblem.MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.Information is the friend of a smart guy.Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the Internet and search for how to eliminate it.Don't know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open upyour dictionary.MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.So what do smart guys do when it comes toovercoming a problem with women?They want MORE INFORMATION.They think the answer lies in learning just ONEMORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in lifewhere the "get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?How would you even know that it was makingthings worse?Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not.But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn't going to help youvery much.You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT of the problem.When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have MORE than enough"information".Smart guys often use "more information" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.I've heard this referred to as "Creative Avoidance".Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION.NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION formen who make them THINK.Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make themFEEL.So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?EXACTLY!They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that'swhere THEY feel comfortable... not knowing thatthey're SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before youwill make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with awoman you've just met, you are basically takingout a NEON SIGN that says, "I don't get it when itcomes to women" and putting it on your head.Typical "logical" conversations include talkingabout work, family, school, and jobs... discussingpolitics, religion, weather... and anything thathas to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to awoman and you say, "OK, so tell me something...Why is it that all women say that they want sweet,nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish, badboys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives)Now you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.If you don't know what I'm talking about, keepreading. You need more help than I thought.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you just read this section,and you can identify with what I'm talking about,then I highly recommend that you go to this page:http://www.new-alpha.com/fos.html
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK aboutthings.If you're taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.If you have a math problem, you can work on ituntil you've figured it out.If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed.Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their "good sides" in most situations.Not so with women...If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the "getits" from the "don't get its".And if you don't get it, then you're going tofail one of these tests VERY quickly.But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOWthat you were being tested... OR that you failed.Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complexEMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the "women and dating"kind.
One of the keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all ofthe tests that women throw at you effortlessly.But before you can learn how to deal with thetests, you must first learn how to communicate onan emotional level, how to demonstrate that youhave fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS ISTHE "SMART WAY"OK,
let me ask you a trick question:If I told you that you were going to have adate with the super model of your choice, which ofthe following would you choose as a "smart" way of preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are,and show up with a dozen of them so she would be"wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.OK, time's up. Which did you choose?Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICKquestion.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.But WHY?These three options all seemed logical, right?I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about to herabout her favorite places to travel?Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat herfavorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favoriteflowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.Right?In their minds they're thinking, "I'm going tobe the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm goingto show up with the flowers that I KNOW sheloves... and she's going to see them and like memore because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these"smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn'tactually take a smart person to think like this!In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kissa woman's ass.And guess what?WOMEN KNOW THIS!And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance,will think he's being such the charmer by usingthis "thoughtful" approach......and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE her.Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: THEY ALWAYS NEED TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be "right"?Have you ever met someone who would actuallyargue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" atANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up...especially if others are watching.They want to maintain this "smart guy" image ofthemselves... so they try to always be "TheExpert" at whatever they do.Instead of saying, "Hey, you know what? I'm abeginner at this... how do I do it? What should Ido first? What next?"... and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN......they won't risk embarrassment, failure, orothers thinking that they're beginners... so theywind up ultimately FAILING.MORE NEWS JUST IN:
It's OK to be a beginner.MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHEREMOTIONSA smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.Totally stopped.FROZEN.And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not good at, they justrepress or RUN away from fear.Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolationthan admit that they don't know how to deal withtheir emotions... or, GOD FORBID, ask for help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.I know what it's like.But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)...if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOWto do it.If this is you, then do yourself a big favor...take the time. Take the effort.Don't worry about what anyone else thinks ofyou... it doesn't matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOUneed to do FOR YOU....I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with "The Genius Failure Paradox" is because Ihave had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...But, I don't think mamma raised no fool.And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out,I couldn't figure WOMEN out.Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy"logical" stuff... I finally got the "bright" idea to start studying guys who were "naturally" goodwith women.Of course, I found out that you could be bothNOT SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at thesame time.I also learned that you can be SMART and VERYSUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the "naturals" didwith women... and learning how they "thought"about the topic, I began to realize that successwith women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.Much of what I learned was very tough for me toaccept... because my logical brain just didn'twant to buy into it.One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the women then chase themin response.
Made no sense at all.I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokesabout them to their faces... and then watchedthose women become "little girls" in response...unable to maintain their composure and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...It took me quite a long time, but I continuedto learn, test, and refine what I was learninguntil I personally figured out how to approachwomen in any situation... get any woman's number Iwanted anytime I wanted... date any type of womanI wanted......and most importantly, GET RID of that"empty" feeling that
I carried around my wholelife because I didn't know how to attract women.And once I got this area of my own lifetogether, I decided to help other guys get thisarea of THEIR lives together.The first "major" result of all this time,effort, and energy is my "Fire of Seduction" Program.It's 300 pages of me personallyteaching all of my very best concepts, secrets,and step-by-step techniques.If you're ready to finally get this area ofyour life "figured out", then you need to getyourself a copy of this program.
All the details are here:http://www.new-alpha.com/seduction.htmAnd if you haven't downloaded my online eBook"Unleashing The Phoenix", then you need to go and dothat now. You can download it and be reading itwithin a few minutes from right now. You candownload it here:http://www.new-alpha.com/unleashing_the_phoenix.html