Before we start lets define the usage of the word sex in this blog.
Sex – a physical act intended to bring pleasure.
Not this definition:
Sex – an act between two people in love, used to express intimacy, closeness, adoration, admiration, the joining of two souls, I want you to complete me and be my love moon, blah blah blah.
Next let me prepare you and your mind for this blog.
I do not accept any beliefs, thoughts or rules just because I am "supposed to". I want to understand everything I do at a factual and logical level. You are going to have to put yourself in that place as well if you really want to get your brain going with this blog and generate some deep discussion.
Reasons like: "just because", "that's way its supposed to be", "that's just how the world works", "that's how I was raised", "that's how people in my city think", and "I don't know", aren't acceptable reasons.
If you are 1 week before your period, do not read this blog. You will be blinded by emotions and they will override any logical thinking your brain is capable of, go cry because your shoes are black and come back next week.
Ok, now lets discuss.
Men, after a certain period of time being with the same woman and being told you cant be with anyone else, your mind begins to wonder. Wonder what someone new would feel like, wonder what the chase would feel like, wonder what a dog collar would feel like around your neck while someone feeds you dog biscuits and only refers to you as Fido, wonder what some "strange" would be like after 5 years of the same thing.
I would never say that all men act on these urges, but I will say all men have these thoughts and most men I know have acted on them. Save the morality speech, I never condoned it, just stated facts. Plus I am sure your man has never done or thought about those things… He's different, trust me.
Ask one hundred husbands if they could have a night of wild, hot sex with a beautiful stranger with no risk of getting caught or any guilt associated, how do you think the majority would answer? If they did, the wife didnt find out, it didnt make him love or adore her any less, then would it really matter?
Women, after a certain period of time your mind might wonder about what it would feel like to have new exciting sex with a Latin dancer who doesnt button the top three buttons on his shirt and continually drips sweat on you while he is drilling you like an oil rig, what it would feel like for the danger associated with sleeping with a bad boy, one that wouldnt be sweet to you and would fuck you like a 16 dollar whore, what it would feel like for a millionaire to sweep you away on his yacht for a weekend, the two of you sipping champagne and making love on piles of 100 dollar bills and caviar, what it would be like to feel that nervousness again, the kind you feel when you get naked with someone for the first time.
Some of the possible reasons/answers to that question:
1. Because your spouse is yours and yours only, no one else can touch them. My question back to you is, why? Who says? Because if I dont know who says that rule then its highly unlikely I am going to listen to the mystery source dictating the rules.
The list of reasons could go on, but I still don't think any of them are valid if the two of you are confident in yourselves, each other and the bond the two of you have. What are the other reasons?
How does that scenario take away or hurt your relationship with your spouse? They are using someone else's body for pleasure, basically like a sex toy, except they are live sex toys.Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? That other person gets them for 45 minutes, you get them anytime you want and your spouse chose you to spend their life with, not the 45 minute human sex toy, right?
If anyone should be jealous its the 45 minute person, they should be jealous because you get them for a lifetime and they only got them for 45 minutes.
Your spouse gets a massage that is purely for pleasure, if you remove the taboo that the media and society has put on sex then could they be viewed the same?
Why is it ok for a man to touch a woman's hand but not her breasts? Who said breasts were off limits? Again, media, society, influence…?
If 50 of us were born and day 1 placed on a 5 acre island in the middle of the ocean. No influence from the past, no influence from society or the media, no one to teach us what is off limits.
Would we just naturally grow up know that women are supposed to cover their breasts and sex should be only allowed between two people for eternity?
Of course not, we wouldn't have a world there to tell us how to be, so why again do we let a world that is pretty fucked up dictate to us what is right and wrong or what is off limits?
I want to know why and "because the world says so" isn't a good enough reason for me.
I'd like to hear your open and honest thoughts on this topic, I will personally reply back to every comment left.
I am not here to convince anyone, I am just here to discuss. My replies will be unbiased and unemotional. Just give your random thoughts or answer the below questions from the blog.
1. If you have a solid foundation with someone, does a physical act purely for pleasure affect that foundation?
2. Is it different if both people in the relationship openly discuss and are aware of the acts vs an open relationship where each person does as they please.
3. Is it different if its a regular person that you sleep with vs a random stranger that you never meet or talk to again?
4. Is it different for the woman to do it knowing that for most women stimulation and attraction starts with her mind and emotions, and attraction for a man starts with something as simple as being there and smelling good.
5. In the majority of cases if a woman is being fulfilled mentally, emotionally and physically by her partner she will not want to sleep with another man. If a man has everything he could ever want, sleeping with another woman is still appealing.True or false?
6. If you are 100 percent confident that there is no one that can fulfill your spouse the way you can, then should you be worried or jealous of someone else touching them? If the answer is yes, then why?
7. Do you agree with the 5 acre island without any outside influences theory?
8. What are the reasons why have monogamy in your relationship?
9. Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? Unless you felt that your spouse would choose the other person over you… Right?