Wednesday, July 9, 2008

"How To Achieve Struggle-free Relationship"

Put An End To "Do It All Yourself Relationships"‏

Are you used to doing everything for yourself,without a man's help?

Are you feeling tired and ready for a manto do his part, without you always having to ask or be the one to try and make things work?

If so, then you're also probably finding it more than a little hard to let a man in and trust him again.

After having more than one relationship with aman end badly.. you might worry that even if your boyfriend or husband is saying he loves you...

He might secretly be feeling differently about you and your relationship, and not be tellingyou everything.

Scary and confusing, I know.

You might be asking yourself if ALL menhave a hard time staying in relationships, no matter how good things are.

Or worse. you might even be worried that allmen cheat.

I want to set the record straight -
Most men can and do want relationships to work,and to last (when they feel uplifted and inspiredby their woman in their relationship).

And to the other question of cheating...
Do all men think about sleeping with other women?

Well, this might bug you, but the truth is that yes, most men do at one time or another thinkabout sleeping with other women.

This might bug you or offend you, but it's theREALITY.
And anyone who tells you differently is just lying to you.
But do all men ACT on these desires?

Absolutely not.

Now, you can worry about men and cheating, and drive yourself crazy to where you and yourrelationship suffer (and you push your man away).

You can start to understand that:

A) The man you choose, and the maturity levelhe's already at when he meets you, is the mostimportant thing there is that determines how a man will be with you, and if he's loyal

B) If you don't know what it is that makes a man want and choose to be in a loving and monogamous relationship, and feel like it'smore than worth it to stay with you and love youfaithfully, then it's likely that things won't last

So the question is.

Do you know how to identify a MATURE MANwho is capable of an honest, loving, long termrelationship and a life together?

And are you clear about WHY a great man wantsa relationship with you in the first place, and what HE NEEDS from you to feel happy and satisfiedas a man?

And more importantly, do you know how to makehim feel more and more INSPIRED by you andyour relationship to give you more and more of what you want and need from him?

Or do you keep finding that men just don't seemto want to stay in serious relationships and don't really seem to listen or care about what you really want or need to feel loved and happy?

There's ONE THING you can start doing to make your man want to be faithful and grow more devoted to you and your happiness, no matter what.

What is this one thing?

It's understanding WHY he would want a secure and loving relationship with you and work hard atthings, even when it isn't easy.

Do you know why a man will do this, and what getshim inspired and excited to be this kind of true partner in life with you?

The good news is that you don't have to guess whatmen are all about or struggle to figure out why your man acts, talks or does the things he does anymore.

Because I've put together a complete and unique program that answers all those questions you've ever had about men, how they think and what they feel when it comes to love, relationships, sex, and more.

Have you ever been in a relationship where, astime went on, instead of you and a man becomingcloser and more passionate about your relationshipand each other... he seemed to be LESS PASSIONATE and more distant with you?

Which, of course, only made things worse astensions grow and you both feel unhappy.
I recently got a question from a woman in asimilar situation, and I wanted to share the emailand what you can do about this kind of situationto "turn things around."

I know you'll want to hear about this one...

Especially if you've ever been in that"uncertain" place with a man in your relationship.

Christian,I need your help.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and have been together for a total of 12 years. Everyone looked at us as the perfect marriage and I thought we had the perfect marriage as well but my husband came to me about 2 months ago and said that he loves and cares about me but he is not IN love with me anymore.

I love this man with all of my heart. He moved out hoping to get the feeling back for a couple of weeks and then thought it would be best for him to move back in and try to work it out.

We have been going to counseling and that doesn't seem to work either he said if he could beat himself in the head with a hammer to get the feeling back then he would.

I think he wants the feeling to come back just as well as I do. We never fight or argue. The counselor says that he thinks that we are just too good for each other. My husband also told me that he feels more like best friends and no one knows him better then I do but I can't even figure this one out.

Please if you have any advise for me and my husband please let me know.


Wow... thanks for sharing.

Sorry to hear about the painful things you'regoing through, but as hard as it might be tobelieve, there's good news here...

You're not alone, and there is hope for yourrelationship.

In fact, what you're going though is sounbelievably common (unfortunately) that I wantyou to make sure you don't go into "panic mode."

Or the other COUNTERPRODUCTIVE mode women inyour situation commonly go into, which is the"Fix-It" mode.

This is where you start to try and change anything and everything, even changing the thingsthat ARE working and keeping your relationship afloat.

This only makes things worse for you AND makesa man feel less confident and comfortable in therelationship with you.

But there are several specific things that canquickly take your situation from frustrating anddisconnected to CLOSE and INTIMATE again.

These are a few, simple, but profound,TRUTHS about love and life I've come across as I've helped and worked with literally thousands of women.

And stick with me here... I know these willhelp you with where you're at right now andquickly redirect you and your relationship towardsPOSITIVE GROWTH.

Truth #1. MORE Information Isn't Always BETTER

I don't know if you recognize it right now, butyou've got most of the answers you're seeking infront of you right now... inside my eBook, for example.

But like a lot of us do, you've most likelylooked at the ideas and information, passed itthrough your usual "filters" in your busy mind,and you've kept right on doing what it is thatyou've been doing for a while now.

Looking for "that ONE thing" that will jump into your life and magically change EVERYTHING for you right away.

All the while, YOU are still thinking the sameway and you're still caught up in the sameemotional and behavioral "patterns" withinyourself and with your fiance
In other words, here's what I'm trying to letyou in on...

More information on what to specifically do inyour situation isn't what you need right now at all.

You need to first get ahold of your ownexperience and your own head and have a shift inPERSPECTIVE.

Let me explain it to you this way...

Have you ever seen how some men think that theyneed to learn great "pick-up lines" in order toget women to be attracted to them?

Ridiculous right?

But TONS of men think this way.

In fact, men seek out other men to watch andlearn from, some read pick-up "manuals", andothers ask their friends what it is that theyshould SAY in order to make women interested in them.

I'm talking about men looking for the exact setof words and phrases that they think they can useto attract, interest or "seduce" a woman.

And then going out there trying these "lines"with women in the hopes that the women willrespond by being physically attracted to them.

You can guess how it goes for these guys mostof the time.

But what's fascinating is how the men respondand interpret the "failures" they have, using thelines they've learned.

When the "lines" don't work for them, lots ofmen immediately think to themselves...

"Oh, I must not have found the right pick-upline yet. I better keep searching until I find theright one that makes the woman I say it to feel aninstant surge of attraction for me."

I'm serious here by the way... Lots of menreally do think this way about what it takes tomeet a woman and get her interest.

And I think you know, as a woman, that findingbetter pick-up lines is NOT the answer for a manwho hasn't had success with the first few "lines"he has tried.

In fact, it's PAINFULLY OBVIOUS to you thatthese men are looking in all the wrong places foranswers.

But I can't tell you how many rational andintelligent men make this stupid mistake.
So what's going on here?

How can intelligent people draw such dumbconclusions about people and life?
Well, men who want to learn "pick-up lines" allhave something in common (besides not intuitivelyor "naturally" understanding what can make a womanfeel interested and attracted).

These men are all looking for answers in aplace where they'll never be able to find "the answer."

You, being a woman, know that it really doesn'tmatter WHAT a man says (unless it's vulgar or ridiculous, in which case a woman will actuallyfeel repelled by a man).

Instead, it's WHO he is and HOW he says thingsthat makes all the difference.

And you know this because you have thePERSPECTIVE to see how things actually work personally and emotionally for you and for other women.

Anyway, here's the FASCINATING thing I recognized a few years back about women...
Lots of women do the SAME THING.

They have their own version of the "perfect pick-up line."


Except a woman's "perfect line" is aboutcreating the instant relationship "breakthrough."
Let me explain...

Lots of women tirelessly analyze theirrelationship over and over, often times creatingmore negative emotional distance through the fearand anxiety they experience.

I mean, how many times have you asked yourselfin your mind...

"What does it mean that he loves me but is not IN LOVE with me?"
"What was he thinking when he did (insert something he did here that hurt you or caused you to feel confused)?"

And how many times have you spent hours or days thinking about talking about exactly what it is you need to say or do with a man to fix or changethings?

The truth is, the answer often isn't in YOUR HEAD, and isn't available from the level ofAWARENESS and CONSCIOUSNESS you have at the time.

In other words, the answer for you right now isNOT to find more answers for your specific situation that you haven't found yet.

The answer right now is YOU.

YOU need to take what you've got in front ofyou and DO THE WORK to change your awareness andperspective.

There are no "magic pick-up lines" to instantlytransform a man, or deepen the level of depth andunderstanding in a relationship just by sayingthem, or having read them in a book IF you don'tunderstand the HOW and WHY of it all.

But there are ways to develop the skills andstrengths you ALREADY HAVE inside you, like yourfemininity for example, that will change the wayyour man sees you and how he wants to be with you.

An example of this is when a woman gets into"fix-it" mode with a man and actually comes acrossas too "mothering" or too "controlling" and generally too MASCULINE and critical. A man will sense this unconsciously and literally be turnedoff and become even MORE irritated and distant with you.

A woman who gets into this mode isn't doing herself or her man any favors, and she's certainlynot using her natural strengths as a WOMAN to bring about the changes she's hoping for.

So stop looking for more "relationship pick-uplines" and other quick-fixes that only bring your situation down further.

Go here to read about how to bring out the strengths you already own and use those to makeyour relationship better and more loving.

Truth #2: Change, Awareness, Consciousness andGrowth Are All PROCESSES.

Here's something I see happen all the time withwomen who read a bit of my stuff...
They take an idea, a concept, or a "technique"that I've shown or explained and then say to themselves...

"Hey, that's cool... I think I'll try this onceor twice to see if it works."

And then, when things don't go their way at first, they get frustrated and give up... BEFORE they've even had the time to become AWARE of whatit is that they're actually doing.

Sorry, I wish I could bring you instant gratification into your life and relationships,but it just doesn't work that way.

And deep inside your mind, you know it.

A relationship is a PROCESS, not a thing you can buy, have and hold.

That's why the ball is in YOUR court right now.
I've done my part here, and now it's your turn.

It's time to make the COMMITMENT to learn and try NEW WAYS of thinking in your life.
Stop RIGHT NOW, open my ebook, go to the section in Chapter 3 called "How To Think About ARelationship With A Man" and read that again.

And then read it one more time.

You're missing what's there for you.

Then pay special attention to the 2 sections that come after that.

"The Convincer" and "The Relationship Balance."

These sections explain, in psychological and behavioral details, some of the most common challenges that come up for women in long term relationships when men start to "doubt" orwithdraw.

Don't make the common mistake of trying to logically CONVINCE him through your words that he should think or FEEL differently.

That's not how men (or women) work emotionally.

You can see more on this topic in Chapter 5 andalso the section on what to do instead of "forcing your feelings and desires on a man."

(And if you're reading this right now andyou don't already own your own copy of my eBook "Catch Him & Keep Him", go to the linkbelow, download your trial copy and bereading it in minutes after you download it.)

Also, if you want to get him experiencing thelevel of CONNECTION with you that you know is possible, then you need to plug into what willtrigger his desire for this EMOTIONALLY.

And the best way to do that is to do more ofthe things that CREATE ATTRACTION.

And I'm not just talking about PhysicalAttraction here, I'm talking about a deeper kind of attraction - Intellectual Attraction.

The kind of attraction that engages a man's EMOTIONS and reminds him why it is he wants to be with you and only you.

A great place to read and learn about this and to help you start to shift your perspective is in my "Natural And Lasting Attraction" program.

If you order this program and listen to it or watch it, you can quickly start to recapture- and create new - things that have been missing from your relationship.

And the best part is, you'll literally "wake him up" and trigger a new feeling of emotional ATTRACTION in him, so that he'll want to start engaging and re-connecting with you.
Go here now to check out the program and see what other women have to say about it:


What if I told you that the fact that yourhusband was experiencing doubts and fears could beTHE SHOT IN THE ARM you need to get to that place where you can feel more connected and passionate about each other for the rest of your lives?

Would you be willing to accept that and find away to understand how you BOTH can learn and growas REAL PEOPLE from that?

Or would you RESIST it?

Hint: I'm working on your PERSPECTIVE right now.

As much as it FEELS awful, I know from experience that ALL men and women HAVE to dealwith their own fears, discomforts and challenges when they share a life together long-term.
Here's the thing...

Most men and women like to think that in a relationship, it SHOULD feel comfortable and safeand "easy" most of the time.

And most men and women have the strongSUBCONSCIOUS BELIEF that the people who have good long-term committed relationships were just luckyenough to find that magic person who eliminates all the resistance, obstacles and challenges other couples experience.

But the OPPOSITE is true.

Open, honest, "real" relationships still have LOTS of challenges, doubts, "phases" and fears in them.

In fact, in a way, they have MORE CHALLENGES because both people are truly open and honest about who they are and what they're feeling.

The difference is how both people in the relationship accept, understand, and deal with these "realities."

Do you panic, creating more emotional uncertainty, and negative disconnected feelings?
Or are you calm, confident, and assured in away that lets a man know things aren't going to be difficult and tiresome with you in the future?

Here's something I want you to do right now...

I want you to start thinking of all the things that are coming up right now that you see as new problems in the relationship as "road signs"guiding your future relationship.

You want to spend the rest of your lives together. And whether you see it right now or not, that's a REALLY BIG thing for our subconscious minds, let alone our conscious minds,to grasp.

You owe it to yourself and your husband to getthings handled and understood between you two, on a deep, real, lasting level.

The marriage doesn't make the "relationship."

The relationship makes the marriage.

And here's something that's COUNTERINTUITIVE about the common problems men bring into relationships with women...

These things coming up actually give YOU the opportunity to become more AWARE and help create abetter level of communication and understanding in the future.

But here's what is more important for you inthe short-term -

What you're going through can be EASILY OVERCOME with what really are small changes in how you think and communicate.

But ONLY IF you can keep from playing "connect-the-dots" game with each thing that has happened,turning it all into one big negative nightmare scenario in your mind.


Only if you KNOW what to do in each one of these critical things going on, and you can address them in a way that brings a man closer,and lets him know that you're going to deal with this together in a way that's going to make thingsBETTER, not worse.

So what are your emotions, reactions, and words telling him?

If he's scared and uncertain, and he has the courage to share that with you while still letting you know that he loves you and isn't leaving, but then you worry or go into hyper fix-it mode - what kind of story does that create about you in his mind?

A man's emotions, fears, behaviors, etc., areall part of the road signs in your them or not.

They STINK, but they are REAL EXPERIENCES a man is having.

The good news is that these experiences and thoughts are driven largely by FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.

And, as you probably already know, feelings and emotions can change almost instantly.

My favorite example of this is when a child is tired or unhappy and something happens to them physically, like being lightly bumped, etc.

The child will fall down, pretending to be terribly hurt and start crying.

But if you put a new toy or a piece of candy infront of them EVERYTHING changes in an instant.

What if there was a way to KNOW what to do in each situation with a man that would change his feelings and emotions?

And therefore affect how he sees EVERYTHINGabout you and your relationship?

What if there was a way to keep him from worrying about these things and feeling this wayin the first place?

And instead of trying to convince him or argue with him about how he should think and act in your relationship...

Make him FEEL physically and EMOTIONALLY drawn to you as a woman and as a partner.

To where his experience would tell him that you were the only woman who could makes him feel so amazing and that he has to be with you forever.

That's where I come in.

The reality is that ALL men have their own set of fears about the future and about their relationships - as much as they ALSO want to love and be loved...

Even AFTER they make a commitment and start to feel and share true love with a woman.
I've put together a program just for women in relationships that were once connected, loving and committed, but have gotten lost somewhere along the way.

In my "Relationship Turnaround" CD/DVD program,I share 6 important Tools for how to get back the passionate love affair you once used to have with your man.

Several hundred women have already seen this program or were there when it was being taped live.

Go to the link below to see what they have to say about the program live on camera and to learn about the AMAZING RESULTS the material can bring into your single life or your relationship.

Go check it out now:

It's time for you to start experiencing all the affection and emotional connection that's possible with a man.

You're already doing "the work", but you're not getting back the results.

It's time to save your energy, learn what works and what kinds of things you may be doing now that you THINK should improve your relationship, but are actually TRAPS that lead you further down toward failure.

I can show you how to have your relationship be a source of comfort and security in your life - not anxiety and worry about the future.

Go here to read more about it and to request your no-cost trial copy:

And if you haven't taken the time to go and download my online eBook "Catch Him & Keep Him",then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY.

You can download it right now, and be readingit in literally MINUTES. It will teach you a TON about how to think and understand what's REALLY going on inside the mind of a man, and how to take each critical situation and interaction with a manand trigger the kind of emotional and "gut-level"ATTRACTION in him.

Go download it here:

Need to get your guy back?

Worried that your relationship is going to fallapart, or your guy will leave, or you'll go off the deep-end if something doesn't change?

There are tons of women who are raving about how my newest program "RelationshipTurn-Around" has finally given them the real tools they need to transform their relationship.
And best of all, they realized that they didn'thave to do all the work themselves.

They just needed to set things up right so their man would start doing his part and reconnect himself to them again.

This is when love comes easy again.

Could something like this help you?

Lots of the women I've helped through thisall-new program wondered and worried ifthings had already gotten too bad, and it was too late for their situation.

But when they put the 6 powerful tools for lasting change in their relationship into placethat I share in this program. something magical happened for them.

It was like an instant "shift" took place that took them out of the cycle of arguments and withdrawal with their man.

And suddenly they were back to that free and open place where their man and themcould finally see each other and the love they had for another again, like it was inthe beginning.

Don't wait until it's too late. Your relationship deserves a chance for it to be its best, and for your love to shine through.

Give yourself and the love you share with that man in your life the chance you deserve by putting the tools I show you inmy "Relationship Turn-Around" program towork for you now.

All the details are here:

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