Talk Loudly on Your Cell Phone ... Especially in the Bathroom Your coworkers don't want to listen to your cell phone conversations. They are not as entertaining to anyone as they are to you. More importantly, they don't want to hear you talk on your phone while you are in the bathroom. It makes them uncomfortable.
Do you want to know how to make your coworkers hate you? Follow this advice. These are surefire ways to ensure your coworkers will look forward to the day you are gone. Avoid these behaviors if you want to help create harmony in your workplace.
2. Take Credit for Your Coworkers' Contributions to a Project When your boss congratulates you on a job well done, don't mention that you had a lot of help. Why does she need to know anyway? Team work, shmeam work. Better to look like you did it all on your own. And, when you need some help on the next project, where do you think your co-workers will be? Not on your team.
3. Come to Work Sick If you have a cold or a stomach virus, spread it around. Your coworkers will thank you. On second thought, no they won't. Well, hopefully they'll have the decency to call in sick and stop spreading the illness further.
4. Share Everything With Your Coworkers Your coworkers are a curious bunch so it is in their best interests if you tell them everything about your personal life — even if, no make that especially if, it makes them uncomfortable. Your motto should be "too much information is never enough."
5. Talk to Your Coworkers About Religion and Politics Ah, religion and politics ... two topics about which everyone is in total agreement. Well, not exactly. Your coworkers may be very sensitive about these topics so if you want to offend them in a hurry, make sure they know why your beliefs are the only right ones.
6. Tell Your Coworkers Dirty Jokes Everyone appreciates a good joke, right? That may be true, but while most people appreciate a good joke, many are put off by dirty jokes. It's not your problem so keep telling those jokes, but don't be surprised if you find yourself accused of sexual harassment one day.
7. Spam Your Coworkers Forward tons of email to all your coworkers. The content doesn't matter. Send it all — chain letters, jokes, and petitions. They'll be thinking of you as they keep hitting that delete button.
8. Chew Your Gum Loudly Nothing sounds as yummy as the noise made by someone cracking their chewing gum and smacking their lips. It may drive your coworkers crazy, but isn't that what you're trying to do?
9. Don't Carry Your Own Weight If you don't do your fair share of the work required by your department, your coworkers will have to pick up the slack. They'll be so exhausted from doing all the work, they won't be able to thank you.
10. Talk Down to Your Coworkers You may think talking down to your coworkers will build you up, but a condescending attitude will not make you appear stronger. It will, however, make your co-workers resent you.